The upcoming end of the world got you down? There is only one important question if the sun returns with a vengeance should a solar flare start racing towards Earth. What to wear? Okay, and the other sensible, feasible, one of a kind life saving questions. This just-in-case backup plan is a tinge less dramatic than purchasing a bomb shelter from Craigslist. One of the most covered Armageddon survival kits I could come up with. I think you’ll like it.
No one can truly predict what the weather will be like on December 21, 2012. Could be freezing cold. Could be blazing hot. Either way, play it comfortably safe with a double-backpack survival kit that ultimately should include a map, a compass (one that actually works), and the below items and gear.
But first, consider the upcoming July and August months. Summertime offers coconut scented sunbathing, footprints in the warm sand, tranquil salty waves to ride towards the coast, beach bags, flip flops, sun hats and sunburns. For some locals summer begins when the pools open. Hot summer – the thick of the sticky jungle. What does summer have to do with the edge of winter? Let’s go shopping!
Who’s to say you’re not going to be super cold once the sun is blocked out by volcano dust, an oversize asteroid or meteorite. Could the sun become mentally blocked by the Aztec prediction itself? The 16th century has nothing on the 21st century. We have electronics, technology, communications capabilities, and 007 flicks – top that Aztecs! Now, back to that end of the world survival kit.
You can find winter clothes and items on clearance racks, at local second-hand stores, yard sales, Ebay and other shopping networks. Sweaters, long sleeve shirts, pants, thermals, socks, underclothes, hats, ear muffs, gloves, scarves, boots, and other winter items such as camping and sports related gear are all great options to gather. But remember, Armageddon only comes once. Travel light Grasshopper. Here’s how. The roll technique.
Roll technique involves two sets of clothes only. Lay the clothes down flat and overlap them (by half) in a vertical position. Roll them so that wrinkles would be less of an issue. You should have a decent size “roll” of clothes which should include thermals, shirts, pants. Stick them inside of a backpack. Place the socks and underclothes inside of a plastic bag to tuck inside of the backpack. Pack the gloves, hat, scarf and muffs by plugging them inside of available backpack areas. Place this winter backpack next to your winter boots and coat (usually located in the back of closets during the summer season).
A second backpack is required. You will only need two backpacks if the world starts to melt, freeze, or just explodes. Get that summer gear and medical supply bag packed! But there are two items that need not be packed.
Strapless and mini skirts are out! The most sluttiest Hollywood thing you could do is flash dying people in a strapless shirt malfunction or in the shortest mini dress $1 could buy. A bikini is alright though.
Imagine — It’s a chilly December and all of the sudden heat approaches from the outside or inside of Earth. It’s getting hot up in the house! Throw on that swim gear because it is waterproof and the last thing you need to do is sweat the shirt dyes all over your back. Toss on a tank top over the swim suit. Men could use their suits as shorts. Women can wear a pair of swim shorts or gym shorts over their suit. One black/one white tank tops – one for night/one for day.
As mentioned, you’ll pack the bathing suit, two tank tops, and two pairs of shorts (can be swim shorts). Roll the tops and shorts. Place inside of the backpack. Put the bathing suits in separate small bags and into another bag. You can use the bags to place a wet suit or clothes inside. Place the socks and underclothes in a separate bag. Tuck the suits, socks and underclothes inside of the backpack.
The best part of the summer bag is the room left to work with. The emergency kit should include band aids (all sizes), ointment (for heat related issues), heat pad, cooling pad, bandages, medical tape or prongs, peroxide and alcohol pads, anti-itching cream, bug repellent, headache-fever-allergy-sinus medicines, any medical item(s) you require for yourself or the family, and your doctor’s phone number with a note of your condition logged. Stick all of these items inside of the summer temps backpack. And don’t forget the can opener, mini-knife, and sunscreen.
Second, consider September and November. So, it’s getting close and you’re starting to notice more Apoclypse signs. Instead of stressing out and tuning to the fanatic zone go food shopping for canned foods. From tuna fish, soups, vegetables, fruits to jellies, the canned foods share variety. Pack enough cans to last three days. Drinks should be purchased as well. The reason to shop during September and November, rather than summertime, for canned foods is merely nothing more than fresh options.
Lastly, mid-December is upon you. You’re now broke from all the shopping. The Armageddon Hummer with parachute and flight capability did not come cheap. Gather your winter and summer bag when the date reaches December 12. Why 12? Because some nut job put it in well written believable context that the 21 was actually a 12. And for two seconds it may make perfect sense. So, without ado, break out those backpacks, boots, winter coat, and canned goods then place them in a corner where you usually ignore beginning on December 12, 2012.
Forget anything?
Add batteries (for electronics), candles, lighters or matches, binoculars, and keep close any legally registered weapon of choice that can fight off an intruder should the world go mad – not that it will get to the point. Keep electronics fully charged from the twelfth. Bottled water is inevitably needed during the year due to storm related activity. Always beneficial. Place bottled water nearby. A cooler of ice is optional. Yet it is best to go without if nothing requires refrigeration.
Sure, anyone visiting you after December 12, 2012 may think you’ve lost your mind when they spot the pile of Armageddon gear in the corner of a room. Do you really want to go through that? Pack the items in large boxes if needed. Just because you prepared does not mean you’re the fanatic one. It just means that you play it safe. And that is the frame of mind that could save lives.
Humans assume this Earth shattering event will occur. And we all know what “assume” means to the character of Gabe Kaplan on Welcome Back Kotter! Just put preps aside and carry on with life. If “Spin-a-geddon” never arrives and the world doesn’t ignite by December 22nd, at least you are prepared for seasons to come. December 23rd is the time to kick back, open a can of soup and enjoy the lighter side of life.
Self-Source
(Accessed 5/13/2012)
