It’s true that, with the tremendous diversity among human personalities, we’re never going to make friends with everyone on earth. The old saying “You can please some people some of the time, but not all people all of the time” is a fact we all must learn to deal with both in our business and personal lives.
Throughout your career you’ll meet people with a wide range of personalities; some will be complimentary to your own, and others will just grate on your nerves. In order to maintain peace in the workplace, among your clientele, and for the sake of your own sanity, you need to learn how to facilitate positive communication with people you might prefer to drive through the nearest window. Obviously, this takes practice and patience on your part.
The combinations of personality types out there are too vast and varied to discuss in a single book, let alone an article. Here are three broad-spectrum personalities to consider and come up with suitable reactions for:
The first type is the Type-A “control freak” personality. If they can’t have the final word at every meeting they’ll throw a fit, and they talk down to every person they consider a threat. Intimidation and dismissal of anyone else’s ideas are how they deal with life, and anyone who doesn’t agree with them doesn’t exist in their eyes. You’ll find them taking control of teams and delegating responsibilities, even if you’re the one appointed as team leader. In this situation, the best way to handle a Type-A personality in the workplace is to give them the recognition they’re looking for without feeding into their delusions of power. They often fear the very dismissal tactics they tend to use on others, so by acknowledging what they’ve done for the company often placates them. This doesn’t mean you should refrain from laying your own ideas on the table, just don’t get into a power struggle to prove you’re right.
Another perpetrator of power abuse is the personality who takes “knowledge is power” to the extreme. They don’t want to give you information that may be beneficial to you, even if they also benefit in the process, fearing you might rise in ranks above them. As they tell you what they need, they may “accidentally” omit key information about decisions they’ve already made. Knowledge, they feel, is the only route to power, and the more they obtain (and keep hidden from others) the better position they’ll be in for promotions or other perks. To handle this personality type, ask questions every time you get the feeling they’re being purposely ambiguous. Be sure to follow each question with a statement explaining why it would benefit them to share the information with you rather than hiding it. Listen to your gut instincts for any warning signs, and tell the person what exactly you can or can’t do with the information they’ve given you-especially if you need more info to complete your task. If they can’t-or more likely, won’t-give you the necessary information, for your own sake and security within the company you may have to refuse their request.
The last personality type to examine is the person whose enthusiasm too often gets in the way of their better judgment. While a little passion is always welcome when attacking a project, too much of it quickly turns any venture into a mockery, a pale shadow of the solid idea it once was. It’s also a more dangerous personality than the previous two because others can easily get swept up by this person’s charisma and agree to projects that later seem foolhardy. The heart rules the head, which is a recipe for disaster in any business situation, resulting in a customer dissatisfied with your work and a lot of wasted time and energy. This personality is the most easily controlled, if you lay the ground-rules ahead of time. If necessary, give an outline of what the meeting’s progress will be, and do your best to stick to the topics mentioned at the meeting’s start. Whenever the conversation starts to go in a direction where you see trouble on the horizon, bring everyone back to the topic at hand. If the person offers an idea that doesn’t seem like a good solution to the problem you’re discussing, ask pointed questions to see if the idea has any merit. This way a bad idea now doesn’t become a runaway train later, with your well-meaning (but wrongly-inspired) colleagues on board.
The best way to deal with difficult personalities is to figure out your own personality and how others press your buttons. By examining and tweaking your own personality to handle others, you’ll be on more level ground when you find yourself opposite a “prickly” personality.
