The genius of the Colgate people never ceases to amaze me. They’ve just developed their best toothpaste flavor ever, it’s called Sparkling White Vanilla Mint and it is fantastic. I love putting it in my mouth. Colgate’s Sparkling White Vanilla Mint Toothpaste tastes so good; it feels like I’m eating pie whenever I go brush my teeth. It has a nice gooey texture and a truly vanilla-like color; it looks like a thicker version of wood glue but with a far superior taste. Thank God for the Colgate people. If it wasn’t for them, I don’t think I’d ever brush my teeth.
I’ve always been a sucker for wacky toothpaste. As a young child I preferred Aquafresh for its rainbow influenced color scheme. I think we’re a long way off from some really revolutionary toothpastes. Is a toothpaste that tastes like a Reuben sandwich too much to ask for? Colgate already has a few fruit flavored gels, they’re pretty good, but they don’t hold a candle to the company’s best invention yet: Sparkling White Vanilla Mint.
Gone are the days of one word names for toothpaste. Peppermint, wintergreen, I can’t be bothered with such boring teeth gel monikers, please. Colgate understands this need and that’s why they’ve come up with products like Sparkling White Vanilla Mint. Let’s analyze that killer name. You know you want to, Colgate wants us to. It is right to dissect the name of Colgate’s Sparkling White Vanilla Mint toothpaste; fore, the dissection of said name will lead us into the deep recesses of what a toothpaste like Colgate’s Sparkling White Vanilla Mint actually means- for the country and the world.
Nowadays, almost every toothpaste comes complete with the Sparkling White tagline (or some variation of that phrase). I’m not sure why this is. It’s quite possible that it’s part of a racist ploy initiated by the dental health foundation (but you didn’t hear that from me). It’s more probable, however, that it has something to do with the teeth whitening craze (epidemic?) that’s sweeping this country. The guys at Colgate are just opportunistic business people; jumping on the crazy train of unnaturally white teeth- can’t fault them for that, right?
I don’t know how or why the teeth whitening craze got started. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for clean teeth. But Jesus people, we’re taking it too far. There is a difference between having clean teeth and having your mouth look like the inside of nuclear explosion (this is as bad, or worse, than the correlation between clean teeth and being British). People will go to great lengths to make sure that their teeth are a bright and shiny white (painful lengths); the rest of us just buy Colgate toothpaste that says “sparkling white. It is the American way.
But enough about the socio-cultural reasons behind white teeth. Let’s get into the meat and potatoes of Colgate’s Sparkling White Vanilla Mint toothpaste: that super fantastic Vanilla Mint taste. I wasn’t up to speed on the history of the flavor vanilla mint so I did some research. It turns out that a large number of breath enhancing manufacturers now feature products that don the vanilla mint epithet. From Listerine to Hershey candies, vanilla mint is everywhere and I had no idea (it turns out every major brand of toothpaste offers a vanilla mint selection, I was shocked- I thought Colgate was the only one). There’s no other way to put it, vanilla mint is so hot right now.
So I am not alone, it turns out that vanilla mint is everywhere. But I’m getting hungry now. I think it’s time to wrap this product review up…I think I’ll make my self a tuna and Colgate’s Sparkling White Vanilla Mint sandwich- kill two birds with one stone, you feeling that?
