Child Custody Do’s and Don’ts – A custody battle with a former spouse or partner is not a pleasant experience for anyone. Your children might very well suffer the most as they witness their parents have a bitter battle over who will win the fight for custody.
If you are a mother, it is not a guarantee that you will win custody. If you are a father, it is not a hopeless battle to fight for custody of your children. There are some things that you should and should not do if you are entering into a custody battle.
You should have a stable and steady income before you fight for custody of the children. You need to establish for the court that you will not have trouble providing for your children. Ideally, the income should be from employment. It should not be welfare benefits. If you are currently receiving welfare benefits, take the steps needed to become self-sufficient. It is also important to note that you should not be relying entirely on alimony and/or child support in order to provide for your children.
It is also necessary to have a permanent place to live before filing for custody of your children. Do not apply for custody if you are living with relatives on a temporary basis or moving from location to location without any long-term plans. Your children need a place of their own to call home. This needs to be a home where they can feel safe and secure at all times.
Do establish that you are able to provide your children with a stable and loving home life. Show the court that you have routines for your children so that their lives are not unpredictable or confusing. Try to limit the amount of changes your children face as a result of the break up of the family.
Spend as much time with your children as possible. If you are not currently the custodial parent, make every effort not to miss any of your scheduled visitation. Attend your children’s sporting events and school functions. Spending time with your children should be a priority. Your children will be happier and you will improve your chances of winning primary or joint custody.
Do make your children your focus . It is probably not the best time to start looking for a new relationship if you are planning to start the fight for custody. This will cause more confusion to your children and might have an impact on the outcome of your case. In an case, your children should always be your priority while they are growing up.
Do not talk poorly about your child’s other parent to or even around your child. You will confuse and possibly alienate your child or children if you speak negatively about your ex. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Anything that you must say against your spouse to aid you in winning your custody case, should be saved for your lawyer and the courtroom.
Do not hire just any attorney. Search for a family law expert. If your lawyer does not specialize in family law, ask them to refer you to an outstanding family law lawyer. Select a lawyer with whom you feel comfortable and that you feel you can trust. The future of your children rests in their hands.
Document your case to help reinforce your side. Do not write down any statements that you cannot back up with some type of proof. If your ex was late picking up your children for their visitation or late bringing them home, write down the time, date and any details. If your child ever seems unusually upset after returning home from time with their other parent, write down the date and any information about your child’s mood or behavior.
If your child’s other parent is exhibiting poor or dangerous behavior, document everything. Do not write down your speculations or any details that you cannot prove. For example, if your spouse is acting odd do not write down that they were drunk. On the other hand, if you smell alcohol on your ex’s breath, document this. Of course, if your ex is trying to take the kids after they have been drinking, you will want to contact your attorney and perhaps the police as well because you cannot allow your child to go with their mother or father if they are drunk.
Any proof you have that your ex is using drugs, drinking heavily, driving recklessly with the children in the car and other dangerous actions, should be handled legally. Write down the details for court. If your ex partner or spouse is arrested, retain any papers you have about their arrest. You will also want to contact your lawyer to apply for emergency custody of the children. If you already have custody, you will want to petition for supervised visitation for the other parent.
Never take it upon yourself to stop sending your child or children with their parent. Go through the court system even though this can be frustrating. If you ever believe your child is in danger, do what it takes to legally enforce that they do not go with their other parent. You can call your attorney, and in some cases you can even contact the police.
If you have visitation and not custody, you might also be in a position of needing to protect your child. Never go to pick up your children on a day that is not a scheduled visitation. Do not take it upon yourself not to return your child at the end of your visitation period. Again, you must use the legal system to protect your children and yourself. Do not take actions that could harm your odds of winning custody.
Ask friends and family members if they will be character witnesses for you. Find people who are able to say honestly that you are the parent best able to provide a safe and stable home life for your children. You need people who know firsthand that living with you would be in the best interests of your child or children.
Surround yourself and your kids with loving family and friends. The judge will want to see that the parent who receives custody has a strong support network in place for the family. This is not the time to move thousands of miles away from your family or closest friends.
Follow your lawyers advice. You have taken the time to select an excellent lawyer. Listen to what they tell you so that you can improve your chances of winning your custody battle. Love your children and put their best interests first at all times.
