When I moved to Los Angeles in 1992, I had a roommate named Lynn. Lynn was a man who would drink two beers, matriculate to several lines of cocaine, and then culminate the evening with a perilous motorcycle ride across Hollywood to El Gran Burrito on Virgil Avenue. There he would order and consume a burrito, taco, and horchata. He never invited me to sit behind him on the motorcycle, and I foolishly neglected to ask. I did ask Lynn’s friend Celso, the first Mexican man I met in L.A., where to find the best Mexican restaurant. He frowned and said: “What am I, a f#*^ing food critic? Go to El Gran Burrito, s*#@head.” I might just as well have asked my inebriated Irish roommate with the girly name, but it seemed wiser to inquire about Mexican culture from a Mexican man. In any case, I listened to the Mexican and boarded the Irishman’s motorcycle. For $4, I ate the “Lynn Special,” a burrito carnitas, a carne asada taco, and a large Styrofoam cup of horchata. My five year experiment with vegetarianism was conclusively resolved. My pursuit of great Mexican food in Los Angeles had commenced. El Gran Burrito was discovery #1.
• The Burrito
The ideal burrito is the al pastor, filled with marinated pork, and complimented by rice, beans, cilantro, and onions. El Taurino on Hoover Street serves an al pastor burrito that is primo to the Greek gyros and the Armenian shawarma. Like the gyros and shawarma, El Taurino’s marinated al pastor is sliced from a crispy chunk of meat on a rotisserie, and then rolled into a big tortilla with the aforementioned ingredients. Like any great burrito, the beans are whole, not refried. The slender pieces of meat crunch and melt as you masticate. The al pastor at El Taquito Mexicano, located above the 210 freeway in Pasadena, relies less on texture than marinade. The meat is saturated in a dense sauce that resembles the wonderful rendang dish of Indonesia. The flavor is smoky, with taste and texture augmented by grilled onions.
Yuca’s, a tiny hut located in a Los Feliz liquor store parking lot, exemplifies the regional cochinito pibil burrito of the Yucatan region of Mexico. By definition, cochinito pibil is a young, pit roasted pig. While verifying the age of a pig (subsequent to pit roasting) is regrettably beyond my know-how, I’ve many times contemplated the age issue as the tender meat slowly dissolved in my mouth. If young is good, than Yuca’s cochinito pibil is a puerile beast. On the topic of young meat, I brought my sons to Yuca’s after a morning of forced sprints up a Silverlake staircase, and had the honor of watching them shed tears over a burrito. Asada devotees heretofore, the tomato influenced pork juice that dribbled from their possessed lips changed their ways. Now whenever we leave the house for an outing, regardless of where we go, the kids say, “Great, we can go get a pibil burrito at Yuca’s!” But we’re going to Oxnard. “Isn’t that close to Los Feliz?” Close enough.
• The Huarache
In the world of attire, a huarache is a sandal. In the culinary world, it is a flat, crisp, chewy, sandal-shaped slab of masa. At El Huarache Azteca in Highland Park, a huarache is topped with meat, cilantro, and crumbled bits of white cheese (cotija, me thinks). I usually request al pastor or chicharrones on mine, but all sorts of flesh suffice. Chicharrones, deep fried pork skin with unhealthy doses of fat and meat attached (kind of like a chunky rendition of bacon), are normally sold ala carte in panaderias. On the huarache, the chicharrones are stewed in a spicy red sauce until their texture is more reminiscent of tendon. Tendon reminds many people of Jell-o, just chewier. It’s an acquired taste; you might opt for pork, beef, or chicken. The white cheese that melts into the meat is rich and somewhat dry, almost like a parmesan or feta. The contrast of crunchy and chewy, juicy and dry, create a sensation deliciously unique in Mexican cuisine.
• The Tamale
There are almost as many tamale vendors in this metropolis as there are burrito trucks. Some people swear by Liliana’s in East L.A., while loyalists in El Sereno love The Tamale Man. It’s all good stuff, but I tend to spend my tamale money at East L.A.’s La Mascota Bakery. They make three essential tamales (rojo chile, verde chile, and queso), and one that I just don’t get (dulce), so I just don’t get it. The rojo is filled with pork in a red sauce, and the verde is chicken in a green salsa. The contents are crucial to the superiority of one tamale over another. The pork at La Mascota consists of several tender chunks that one dreams about finding in a carnitas burrito. The cheese in the queso tamale is soft, rich, and permeated with green chile. I wouldn’t be able to prove it in a culinary court, but I’m pretty damn sure it is panela cheese. The masa that encases the contents is dense and flaky; it feels light, yet it firmly holds its load (mmm!) without crumbling apart.
• The Gordita
What can’t you do with masa, the Mexican wonder dough? At Ana Maria’s, a food stall at Grand Central Market, they mold the masa into flat, grilled cakes that they split and stuff with so much stuff, it’s like eating a taxi cab with an endless supply of clowns… but even tastier! It’s called a gordita. It’s stuffed with meat, beans, cilantro, salsa, and a crema that tastes like the tzatziki with which the Greeks douse their gyros. The best meat here is the carnitas, which are oily, stringy, and plentiful, like a pulled pork sandwich. Between the meat, beans, and fried masa, a $2.50 gordita can assuage and punish an empty stomach for hours. Being as dense as a gordita myself, I often order two.
• The Hot Seafood
There are many consistently solid mariscos restaurants serving fried variations of fish in Los Angeles, and I’ve yet to decide upon one as being transcendent. Senor Fish has a very nice scallop burrito, and seafood quesadillas that are remarkable and excessive. It’s not as good as its reputation, nor as inexpensive as it used to be, but it’s still a damn good meal. Via Mar, in Highland Park, is an inexpensive but ordinary mariscos stand that serves one extraordinary item. Their langostino burrito is filled with buttery, sautéed crawfish, green peppers, and rice. The langostino meat is the nearest thing to the taste of lobster, and the succulent pieces in this burrito detonate in buttery bursts of indulgent gratification. For value and consistency, the Siete Mares chain of mariscos restaurants may very well be the best in Los Angeles. Most branches consist of a taco stand and a sit down restaurant. Go to the taco stand for fish and shrimp tacos, burritos, and ceviche tostadas. The restaurant is a good place to sweat over a big bowl of siete mares soup, or a plate of fried or grilled fish with rice and beans.
• The Cold Seafood
Ray’s is the legendary pizza joint in New York City that was voted “Best Pizza” a few decades ago. Soon afterward, dozens of Ray’s Pizzas popped up throughout Manhattan, leaving the neophyte unsure as to the location of the original Ray’s (Original Ray’s also being a frequently repeated pizzeria name). I think the original is on 11th Street & 6th Avenue, but I can’t prove it. It’s kind of like the “Tommy’s” & “Tomy’s” scenario in Los Angeles, or the Mexican seafood trucks that line Figueroa Boulevard alongside Sycamore Grove Park in Highland Park. Only one of them is legendary, but luckily each truck has a different name. You want the one labeled La Mar Azul.
La Mar Azul serves seafood cocktails (cocteles de mariscos) and several variations of ceviche (raw, citrus marinated seafood) on tostadas. The cocteles are fresh, inexpensive, and generous of portion. The ceviche tostadas are sublime. You can order abalone, pulpo (octopus), camarones (shrimp), jaiba (imitation crab), or mixta (combination of all the above). The fish is heaped upon a bed of rich creamy, cilantro laden sauce (sour cream? mayo?) that, combined with the cool seafood, is ineffably tasty. The crisp, salty, foundation of the tostada effectively supports the substance. One tostada will bring your belly to a standing ovation, and two will close the show at a tab of no more than $5.00. Your tummy will reminisce for days to come, but without the painful reminders of a gluttonous orgy such as experienced over the gordita. This is a healthy love affair.
• The Taco
What the hell you want with a taco? Get a burrito, silly. It’s bigger, and it’s got beans. If the burrito doesn’t quite fill your tank, or you’re an anti-beanist, then purchase a taco for supplemental succor. Any of the aforementioned burrito joints can make a tasty and efficient taco.
Culmination
Soon after being discovered by me, El Gran Burrito moved west to Santa Monica Boulevard and Vermont. I followed. They expanded the dining room and added additional rooms, but the place still looks the same. Its progressive growth from small dump to big dump brings to mind the modifications in Steve Martin’s childhood home in The Jerk. Success changed the size of El Gran, but it didn’t alter the substance. It’s still an inexpensive dump serving great food to patrons wondering in off the street. It wasn’t until a year or two ago that they finally raised the prices of their burritos (from $2.50-3.00 or 3.50), which are still gran in quality and quantity. Much like my children cry over Yuca’s pibil, I still blubber over my El Gran carnitas burrito. Let it be known that when I die, El Gran shall cater the affair. Wah.
• Locations
o Ana Maria’s/ 317 S. Broadway in Grand Central Market
o El Gran Burrito/ 4716 Santa Monica/ 323-665-8720
o El Huarache Azteca/ 5225 York/ 323-478-9572
o El Taquito Mexicano/ 467 N Fair Oaks/ 626-577-3918
o El Taurino/ 1104 S Hoover/ 323-738-9197
o La Mar Azul/ Sycamore Grove Park on Figueroa Street, between Ave 45 & 49
o La Mascota Bakery/ 2715 Whittier/ 323-263-5513
o Senor Fish/ Alhambra, Eagle Rock, Little Tokyo, South Pasadena
o Siete Mares/ Silver Lake, Lincoln Heights, Whittier, etc…
o Via Mar/ 5111 Figueroa Boulevard/ 323-255-4929
o Yuca’s/ 2056 N Hillhurst/ 323-662-1214
