This report will air at an unspecified future date on NBC. It is the latest in Dateline NBC’s year-long series of undercover investigations featuring children at risk from adults online. In this episode, we take Chris Hansen and our hidden cameras to Texas. Although we thought we had witnessed everything in our travels with this program, nothing could prepare us for what we were about to experience.
Irving, Texas – A well-known celebrity talks to a teenager online whom he’s never met before. Following two weeks of provocative chats, the suspect arranges a meeting with our decoy. From the Victorian home located in downtown Irving that we are operating from, we see the predator emerge from a beige minivan carrying a brown bag. He is none other than Barney the dinosaur from PBS’s Barney and Friends program.
Actress, decoy: Hey, come on in and make yourself at home. I just need to brush my teeth.
Barney: What a super-deeeeee-duper idea! Proper oral hygiene is one of the keys of a healthy lifestyle and vivacious well-being.
Decoy: Uh – right. I’ll be right back. Go ahead and help yourself to some chocolate chip cookies on the table…I made them myself.
Barney: Why, that’s stuuuuuuuu-pendous! (begins eating cookies)
Chris Hansen, Dateline correspondent (walks in): Why don’t you have a seat right over there.
Barney: What the …..!
CH: I see you have quite the appetite for cookies, as well as chatting with young teens.
B: I just love all children.
CH: You were using the screen name Big_Purple_D, could you please tell me what the “D” stands for?
B: Well, as you can see, I am a dinosaur.
CH: Do me a favor and wipe that cheesy, condescending grin off your face!
B: Sorry, but that is just the way my face is. It’s one of my very special qualities.
CH: Look, I have a copy of your chat right here. You ask the girl what she is wearing and then proceed to mention you are not wearing any pants. How do you explain that?!
B: Well, I wanted to make sure she was wearing the proper attire for the region’s high heat index. And I have never worn pants. I’m a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
CH: Ok, in your chat, you tell our decoy, “…with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you…*kiss* won’t you say you love me too?”
B: Why those are just lyrics to my smash hit “I Love You”, which has helped me sell millions of CD’s and DVD’s around the whole wide world.
CH: Oh, that’s right. I hate that [expletive] song. You also keep referencing a BJ. Could you tell me what, in the name of all holy, you meant by that?
B: BJ’s my best friend in the whole world. He and Baby Bop appear with me every day on my show.
CH: Well, I guess your story checks out. By the way, what’s in the bag, Barney?
B: Well, er, uh, just some stuff.
Chris Hansen grabs the bag and pulls out a box of Magnums.
CH: Can you explain this?!
B: I thought those were balloons. Uh, we were planning to have a party.
CH: That was some party you had planned there. What else is in the bag. (reaching in and producing two bottles of Jack Daniels and a dozen grape wine coolers). What were you planning to do with this?!!
B: Hey, look! You’re shoes are untied!
CH: Huh? (looking down) But I’m wearing loafers.
With this brief distraction, Barney lumbers out the front door and nearly makes it to his minivan. Officers tazer him into submission and load him into a police van.
This concludes this special episode of Dateline NBC. Tune in to a future broadcast as the To Catch a Predator series focuses on other high profile children’s entertainers….namely, The Doodlebops.
