With the increase in couples using fertility drugs and treatments, births for twins, triplets and multiples are more common in the United States than ever before. According to national census results, the number of twin births in the United States increased more than 70 percent between 1980 and 2000.
Whether you’re a single mom or a mom and dad team, having twins, triples or multiple births multiplies your responsibilities, stress, and worries. But it also doubles all those tiny smiles, baby laughs, and firsts. Follow these tips from my interviews with local twin and multiple parents to juggle those new baby twins with finesse and fun.
Skip the Rhyming Names
Rhyming names for twin babies seem cutesy when they’re dressed in matching outfits being parading around the community. But the reality is more and more research shows how important it is for children to learn their own identities. Rhyming names have a stifling effect on the child’s identity apart from their twin sibling.
Also, you’re going to be stressed enough without having to constantly repeat yourself to have it understand as to which child you’re talking about. Rhyming names, especially in those early years, just adds to the confusion for everyone. The twin children will have more trouble learning which name to answer to as they first begin exploring language. Because the rhythms and sounds are so similar, even if the names begin with different consonants, your children will think they have the same name until their terrible twos.
A related hint: Avoid alliteration if possible. Labeling and monogramming things for babies is much easier if the first initial is different. You will avoid a lot of confusion trying to remember which bag went with which child.
Accept Help
Whether you are a single mom or a married couple, new babies require extra help. Twin babies especially are a lot of work. Just thinking about the practical side – all those diapers, feedings, etc. will take a lot of work, time and energy. Do not hesitate to ask friends, relatives and neighbors to help you out. Take offers for help with house keeping, dinner cooking and even just watching the twins while you take a quick nap. Never turn down an offer for help.
Put Yourself As A Priority
Being a new mom is tough. It is easy to get lost in the new responsibilities, but if you do not maintain your personal space and health you will not enjoy that new motherhood as much. Be sure to take the time for sleep, take a bubble bath, enjoy the small things and visit friends without worrying about the new twin babies. Ask a family member to watch the children so you can have a weekly lunch with your best friend. Maintain that personal spark to keep from getting overwhelmed.
Don’t Give Up On Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding twins seems like a daunting task, but the nutrients available in breast milk consistently show positive benefits in newborns and older babies. Consult a lactation consultant (you can get positive referrals from your local hospital or midwife) for a local, available resource. And check out La Leche League (www.llli.org) for on online community of breastfeeding mothers for support, advice and even a breastfeeding apparel shop.
Find Local Support
Network with local mothers who have twins and multiples. Contact the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs (www.nomotc.org) to get started. Having a base of support with other parents either going through (or safely on the other side) of twin infanthood is an invaluable resource.
Encourage Different Hobbies and Interests
Even from those first signs of interest as those twin babies turn into twin toddlers. Matching outfits are fine occasionally, but make sure your children know they can pursue things they find intriguing, even if their sibling does not. Even though it will make scheduling a little more difficult, don’t be afraid to schedule one child in Kindermusic and one child in PeeWee Sports if those are the activities they most enjoy. Another good idea is to request they stay in separate classrooms as they enter school. This way they will be encouraged to develop their own identity and friendships.
Take Individual Pictures Too
Especially at first, your instinct is going to be to photograph the babies (and later toddlers) together. But be sure to photograph them alone as well. Look for differences in personality and try to capture those in individual photographs. For example, if one twin baby loves dragging around a certain blanket be sure to capture that in a photograph. One child tries to climb into the dishwasher, photograph it. Treat them as two separate siblings with no twin relationship for some photos. (It’s still ok to photograph them together when they do the same things.) This way, each child will have his or her own stories and photographs in addition to their story as a twin.
