What happens to a woman when she decides not to dye her hair anymore? It is not a decision that comes easily. An inner turmoil begins to build, pushing a woman into unfamiliar territory. I can tell you first hand, I too have had this battle with self and will share with you the process that I had to go through. You may read this article thinking…I can do this, as I feel so empowered. On the other hand, you may go running to the nearest beauty salon begging them to dye your hair one more time. That is the thing with us women. We can be fickle, indecisive, and no one is going to make us move until we decide it is time.
The Battle
The battle will be the first thing that you go through. The thought process should be stamped with a warning, “this may hurt a bit!” Suddenly there is a strange thought that comes shining through. Shaking your head in total disbelief, thinking, I would never in a million years have thought of this idea.
You have an inch of new growth and the silver is peeking through saying, one or two things. It may say, “Cover me up fast or I will die” or it might say, “Please leave me alone, I have had enough!” Pondering not dyeing your hair is almost worse than finding out your three-year-old twins having chicken pox. You know you have to take care of it or it will spread like wild fire. You actually break a sweat at the thought. You look in the mirror and share your thoughts aloud.
I am 51, and so tired of dyeing my hair. Whom am I trying to impress? Why does the idea scare me so? I will not look too old. I have a nice smile. I am more than my hair!
The part of you that wants to hold on to its youth like millions of other women, or at least the picture of youth society has dictated, brainwashing your very soul, begins to voice its concerns. They are not gentle thoughts, they begin to scream at you, and it is not pretty.
Are you crazy? What are you thinking not dyeing your hair? People will think you are old! Your husband will not love you and he will not think you are attractive. He will go after another woman! You look like your mother!
Suddenly you find yourself out of control, yelling at yourself in the mirror! “STOP…I AM MORE THAN THE HAIR ON MY HEAD!” Calming down…you look once more whispering…”I am more than the silver.”
The battle is the worst part of this whole process. I wish I could tell you it was easy but it is not for most women. The battle may rage for many years until one finally wins out, accepting what “self” really wants. You many even fail a couple times until you finally get “it” right, whatever that “it” is for you.
The Transition
The decision is made and you have decided never to color your hair again. First, let me tell you congratulations! Now go pray…you will need it! You can do one or two things. You may cut it very short and let the silver come unrestrained, shocking all those around you. That is what I did and it was awesome! However, do not listen to me I like to rock the boat occasionally! You can also pull the hair back, trimming as you go, taking a couple years to get all the color out of your hair.
I failed the first time in doing this. Yep…I cut it all off, l loved it… but I let the negative comment of one person sway me and I put color back on my hair. I was so disappointed in myself. I was miserable. I got used to seeing that silver fox in the mirror and I missed her.
A beautician may talk you into putting low lights, highlights, or some other color to go through this process but take it from one who has done it both ways… The only way to get through it is to cut it short or pull back and walk through it. The silver is still going to come through with the highlights. At least it did for me and only prolonged the process. I am now letting it grow back. I pull it back and I can see the silver looking at me, as an old friend…Did I say old? I mean like a loving friend, welcoming me home!
The transition may take a while, and people are bound to ask what you are doing. Your husband may give you this confused look, which really means he is thinking my wife is not looking so hot these days! He may even offer to give you money and yes, it is a bribe to go get your hair done. BE WARE! Do not fall for it! Pocket the money and go buy you some great clothes that will go with your awesome silver. This will pass and before long, you will be one hot mama!
Be positive about what you are doing. If you put on a smile and walk with confidence, people will feed off your enthusiasm, I promise! Remember … “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” One person may not like it but three other people will. Do not base your actions on what others think. If you look in the mirror and feel comfortable with what you see…then that is all that counts.
Acceptance
The world tells us we have to be young, beautiful, and without any flaws. Who said that having silver is a flaw anyway? I have earned my silver and I am not going to apologize for it. Who is to say that that a woman cannot be beautiful in her 50s, 60s…and yes, even 70s? I want to accept who I am at this point in my life. Letting go and allowing my silver to shine through was so freeing. Getting to that point was hard. It was a process, which we as women, will all have to go through at different times in our lives. I leave you one last thought.
Be kind to yourself because we are so much more than the silver in our hair.
