I have to confront people at work on a nightly basis. Generally speaking I will pull the person that I have to confront into my office and confront them in front of another staff member. The reason that I do this is for my own safety since I work with up to 225 residents at any given time. This resident’s are in a halfway house and most have either been to prison or are on a 180 day turn around on parole.
By having another staff member there I have extra protection in case a resident decides to react violently, which usually does not happen but could easily happen. I also like for other staff members to hear how I speak to the resident so if I’m not there they know how to confront a resident as well. This also makes it hard for a resident to grieve you by saying that you said something that you did not say.
I would say that the way that I handle confrontations has been rather effective. The reason I say this is that as a supervisor I have been grieved less than most of the supervisors that we have at my job. Resident’s where I work know that when I say something that it is not to mess with them or try and send them back to DOC or jail.
I can also say that the resident’s know that they are able to come and talk to me about anything and when they do talk to me that they are able to speak what is on their minds and not be judged for how they feel. I had one male resident come to me the other night and tell that he feels as though he is losing his fight for freedom. He also told me about his personal problems that he was having and that he felt as though he wanted to cry. I told him that as men we do not like to cry but that there is times that the stress or emotions that we feel are too high to hold back the tears. I told him that it would not be the first time that a man has cried in front of me at work and that I do not judge them based on them crying.
I can say that I have de-escalated many situations at work. I had a male resident that was standing in my office doorway one night and I kept looking at him and trying to work since he was not saying anything at all. I kept typing and then I asked him what it was that he wanted or needed and he stated that he wanted to talk. He started to get out of line with the way that he was talking to me so I got upset and went off on him.
He went to turn away and leave but I was not done talking to him in my opinion. I told him to come into my office and have a seat. I got up closed the door and started to talk to him in a calmer voice and told him that I would not tolerate any further episodes with me or my staff that he had been giving problems to. He stated that he did not feel as though he was causing my staff any problems.
I told him that one of my female staff members felt disrespected by him and his actions and that I would not tolerate it any longer. He stated that he did not think that he had been disrespectful but if she felt disrespected that he would apologize to her for his actions.
Then I told him that he was being pampered by the facility director and that it needed to stop. The resident stated that he was not being pampered by the Director. He stated that he always tells the truth which I confronted him on. I told him that there was no way that he was always telling the truth when every time he gets wrote up it gets dropped.
The resident stated that he follows all the rules which are the reason that the write-ups were dropped. I told him that he does not even follow the little rules. I told him he is not allowed to eat in his room which he does. I told him that he has to wear his ID at all times which he did not do. I also told him he could not get up before 4am, which he did even on his days off.
This confrontation worked out though because he has started to change the negative things that he was doing and is now acting like he knows the rules. This is the reason that I feel as though this was a successful confrontation even though it started off on the wrong foot.
