Prostate massage is a highly pleasurable and intimate activity that you can share with your partner. Learning the basic techniques will allow you to confidently explore this new pleasure together. This guide offers the basic skills of pleasurable prostate massage, and suggest further resources for learning more about this erotic skill.
Prostate massage is best done in the context of a full-body sensual massage. Share the kinds of touch you and your partner like best. Most men find that prostate massage feels best when highly aroused, so you can learn to incorporate it seamlessly into your lovemaking. While first learning this new intimate skill, however, it is best to devote most of your attention to using your hands to massage the penis, perineum and anus.
For comfort and quick hygiene, wear a nitrile or vinyl disposable glove on the hand(s) that will be touching the anus. Using a water-based lubricant, stimulate the outside of the anus, relaxing the sphincters and stimulating the highly concentrated nerve endings. Try circular strokes and smooth glides with one or two fingers. Experiment with speed- slower touch often feels more pleasurable!
Once the anal sphincters begin relaxing, use slow and subtle strokes to begin penetrating- never force your way in. The man receiving the prostate massage can focus on breathing and gently relaxing the pelvic muscles. This relaxation is one of the most beneficial aspects of prostate massage.
After one or two fingers are gently inserted, locate the prostate by massaging towards the perineum (the part of the pelvic floor between the scrotum and anus). You will feel a walnut-shaped gland with a distinct texture. From this angle, you can feel the two sides of the prostate with a ridge down the center. This ridge is where the urethra is passing through the penis. Begin massaging by lightly sweeping from the far side of one lobe towards the center, then repeat on the other side. Alternate massaging each side from the outer edge towards the center, aware that you are manually expressing the fluid from the small ducts into the urethra. With your other hand, you can stimulate the perineum or penis.
Begin the massage with very light pressure, and communicate with your partner. If there is any tenderness or pain, reduce pressure or stop the massage. If the pressure you are using feels good, continue the massage. You can increase pressure gradually, always communicating with your partner about what feels most pleasurable.
Reading about a massage technique can only get you so far. You can learn prostate massage in the privacy of your own home with online flash videos. You and your partner can watch these videos together, learning new techniques while communicating about what looks exciting and also taking the time to explore any questions or concerns. Online video is an excellent resource, as you can come back to it over time to refine your skills and refresh your technique.
Manual stimulation of the prostate is the most direct and often the most pleasurable form of prostate massage. Using toys designed for prostate stimulation, however, can be an effective and pleasurable way to benefit from prostate massage. There are toys designed for both internal and external stimulation. The Aneros is an internal massager that is designed to stimulate the prostate as you clench your pelvic muscles. This can be done in as little as five minutes a day in the shower. External massage devices such as the Prostate Cradle work by stimulating the prostate with deep pressure at the perineum.
If you do not feel the prostate gland, it is possible that your fingers do not quite reach your partner’s prostate. If you cannot comfortably massage his prostate manually, or do not want to use your hands, consider using a tool such as the Aneros or Crystal Wand. These tools can be fun for everyone, no matter how large or small your hands are! Once you gain more comfort with your partner, you can enjoy a wide range of prostate massage experiences.
Men and their partners are discovering that prostate massage is a healthy, pleasurable practice that can be learned and shared in the privacy of home. Exploring prostate massage can create profound trust and intimacy within a loving relationship. Take it slow and communicate with your partner, and enjoy sharing the healthy pleasures of prostate massage.
