Eighteen years ago, I became a nurse. I had been blessed to work in many areas of nursing, and learning so much along the way. I gave it a 100 percent, and enjoyed being a nurse. I always thought I would be a nurse well into my late sixties. Suddenly something changed within me. I began to dream of other things that I had forgotten about. The needs within my family were pulling me in many directions, feeling like I was drowning emotionally. I knew something had to change.
One day I decided to talk to my husband about my concerns. We had been used to living off two paychecks. I felt if I left my job that I would be letting him down. The other factor was that I was working as a school nurse in a lovely little school only five minutes from my home. I could not ask for more. When I began to think about retiring early, I knew something was stirring inside of me, as it did not make sense if you looked at the whole picture. I had a great job compared to many nurses.
I had to do some deep soul searching to find the answers. I realized that I had my children early in life, and then when the last child started school, I went back to college for nursing. I had been a caregiver all my adult life. My dad had a stroke a few years ago and while my mom and dad are very independent, they needed more, and I felt as if I was not there for them as I should be. Many times, they needed someone to go to the doctors’ visits, or run an errand. They would feel guilty to ask, as they knew I worked. My grown children began to give us grandchildren and I wanted to be more active in their lives. I found I was so tired taking care of others; I just could not give my family the best of me. Giving everything I had at school emotionally, I felt I was running on empty once I got home.
The feeling to leave became stronger and once more, I approached my husband a couple years before I acutally left, this time I had to tell him completely how I felt. He was very understanding, and told me I needed to do what would make me happy. Honestly, I was not sure what would make me happy, I just knew I needed a change, a break, and a breather. .
A few months before I retired, I started writing and I cannot tell you the gift this was. I rediscovered this wonderful part of my life that was tucked away for many years. Suddenly my whole life opened up like a fresh new flower. I knew in my heart that this was a new path I wanted to pursue. For the first time I would not be caring for others. The children were all gone; I had time to think what I really wanted to do with the rest of my life. At 50 years of age, I left my nursing career, never looking back. This does not mean I do not miss the children at school or the wonderful friendships I formed. It means that I held my nose, jumped full body into the unknown. No longer was I a nurse but attempting a new writing career.
I have no regrets and surprisingly we have learned to live on less. It is amazing that we think we need more, when we can actually adjust over time to live on less money. Leaving a career in today’s economy is scary. I was blessed that my husband had a secure job and could support us. I know this is not the case for many. I do not have the luxury of buying a new car, or other material things but some things are more important. I now can enjoy my parents and be there for them, without feeling over whelmed. My husband loves me being home, as he sees I am happy. While my nursing career was only 18 years, it served my family and me well. I loved being a nurse and will forever treasure the memories. I will keep up my nursing license as I never know what life may throw my me but I do not regret leaving my career, knowing it was a rather bold move. I now look forward to new journeys, feeling like the sky is the limit.
