Martha (Dandridge) Washington was born on June 2, 1731, just outside of Williamsburg, Virginia.
Early Life
The eldest daughter of John and Frances Dandridge, Martha (called Patsy by friends and family) was born into a life privilege, living on her parent’s plantation Chestnut Grove. In keeping with traditions of the time, Martha was educated learning to sew, embroider, garden, and all the other necessities of running a large home. She also educated in basic mathematics, reading and writing, which was somewhat unusual for a girl in the Eighteenth century.
Martha married her first husband, Daniel Parke Custis, aged thirty-eight, when she was eighteen. Custis owned a 17,000 acre plantation (today part of that plantation is Arlington National Cemetery). They would have four children together, two of them dying during infancy. Custis died in 1757, leaving Martha a widow at twenty-six with two young children, a son, Jacky, and a daughter, Patsy.
Meeting George
Martha met Colonel George Washington a cotillion (dance) in Williamsburg. She immediately fell in love with the dashing colonel. George it is said, favored a neighbor, Sally Fairfax. However, Sally married another, and George decided the pretty, affable and rich widow, Martha Dandridge Custis, would make as good a wife as any. They were married on January 6, 1759.
The couple moved to George’s home, Mount Vernon, where they lived quite extravagantly. Little Jacky and Patsy wanted for nothing. They lived happily for a number of years. However, a string of bad crops, coupled with Martha’s shopping habits did put a financial strain on the Washington’s bank account. Then, in 1774 Patsy Custis died at the age of 17, from epileptic seizures. Martha was devastated.
While personal misfortune had befallen the Washington’s, political unrest in the thirteen colonies was rapidly growing. High taxes from Great Britain had taken its toll on many colonist, and rebellion was in the air. Martha was torn between her loyalty to England, and her fellow neighbors. Eventually she would follow her husband’s lead.
George Washington recognized that the fledgling independence movement would need strong support and organization. In 1775 he traveled north to Massachusetts, where he helped organize a militia. Martha traveled to spend Christmas with him. Jacky also came along, bringing his new wife, Eleanor “Nelly” Calvert. Martha stayed on through June before returning to Mount Vernon. She returned to George’s side in March,1777, to nurse him through a bought of illness at Morristown.
Jacky Custis died of illness in November, 1781, shortly after enlisting in the militia, as a aide to Washington. He left behind his wife, Nelly, and their six children. The two youngest children, little Nelly, and George Washington Parke Custis were sent to stay with their Grandmother at Mount Vernon. Martha reveled in her grandchildren. Even after their mother remarried, the children remained at Mount Vernon. Undoubtedly they provided her with much needed distraction during the long years of warfare.
Lady Washington
George Washington came home on Christmas Eve, 1783. The Revolutionary War was over and the United States of America was new country. But it had no leader. In April, 1789, George Washington was elected the president of the United States of America, in a unanimous vote. He and Martha, along with the grandchildren moved to New York, the temporary capital. Even at that point, the couple needed a loan to cover moving expenses.
Martha was a gracious host, fulfilling her role as first lady. She was never called that, however. The term came into use after her death. She was simply called “Lady Washington.” Running her own estates in Virginia helped her immensely when planning formal dinners, receptions and other social occasions. Martha never truly enjoyed being away from Mount Vernon, and was happy to return in 1797, after George finished his second term.
George Washington died on December 14, 1799. Martha was unable to attend to the funeral; she was so overcome with grief. In his will, George Washington freed half of his slaves. Martha freed children and the elderly in 1800.
Martha Dandridge Washington may have been the first “first lady,” but she was foremost a wife and mother, whose primary concern was the comforts of her family.
