What are soft skills? In business, you know them as the material of soft skills training workshops that highlight communication, active listening, conflict resolution and team building. In daily interactions, you see them as social skills like good manners and kindness. Teaching soft skills to children takes effort. You usually focus more on keeping Johnny from hitting his sister or feeding his sandwich to the dog than on fostering a healthy form of eye contact. When the child enters school, academics become a main staple of daily parenting interactions. Teaching soft skills slowly goes by the wayside. Three social skills games for kids make it possible to add this frequently overlooked teaching opportunity to your already full plate of parenting woes (hey, at least the games are fun).
High on the soft skills list: Eye Contact
Appropriate eye contact ranks high in active listening and communicating. A form of nonverbal communication, Americans generally consider good eye contact to be a sign of honesty. Since there is a difference between eye contact and a crazy stare, playing a clues game is a good form of teaching brief periods of appropriate eye contact.
Game idea: Using a deck of playing cards, choose five cards at random. Hold them facing out, so your child sees them. Ask your child an open-ended question pertaining to a subject he enjoys. For example, you may ask about his favorite ice cream toppings, animals or toys. After about a minute, direct the child to close his eyes while you remove a card and shuffle the remaining cards. When the child opens his eyes again, ask him to identify the missing card.
Why it works: The child learns to pay attention to a communications partners. Rather than staring into your eyes, the child learns to focus on the whole person, which is an invaluable skill for reading situations and nonverbal communication clues later on. Adjust the game to fit the child’s age and attention span. Preschoolers may do well with four cards while older children enjoy a challenge of eight to 15 cards.
Teaching soft skills at mealtime: Active Listening
While the family is engrossed in a mealtime conversation about camping, your daughter suddenly chimes in with a story about her doll. What is she missing? Looking back at the soft skills list, she may be missing active listening skills — or she may simply be bored by a topic that goes over her head. Nevertheless, do not neglect to teach the child how to listen attentively even to boring subject matters.
Game idea: There are two social skills games for kids that work well. A storytelling game begins with one family member starting a story with one sentence. The next person continues the story with one more sentence. Keep going around the table. Another option is the promise of a treat, if the child can garner the clues you drop during the conversation. For example, you may tell her to pay close attention to words beginning with the letter “w.” Sprinkle in these kinds of words while conversing with the family.
Why it works: The child must focus on the contributions of each family member to make her sentence fit with the plot of the story as it is developing. Since children will try to outdo others with clever story details, kids are naturally drawn to this game. The second game idea targets children who have the ability to listen attentively but choose not to. The bribe ensures their rapt attention.
Putting your teaching success to the test is easy. Consider that team building and conflict resolution go hand in hand. These disciplines also call for good communication and listening skills. See how the kids are doing by starting a friendly competition to raise money for a charity, cause or family event. Put the children in charge. Observe and evaluate the kids’ use of their soft skills training and make note of soft skills list items that need a bit more work. If a child forgets his social skills and pouts, loses his temper or yells, incorporate corresponding interpersonal skills games in your bag of tricks.
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