Are you feeling sad and need a dose of laughter? What does wonders for my mood and can do the same for is reading funny quotes. Funny quotes will make you laugh. By laughing it will release endorphins, which are natural substances in your body that can help reduce stress and influence you to feel good. Below are some of my all time favorite funny quotes by famous people that never fail to make me laugh.
Funny Quote #1
By Patrick Moore. “There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it.”
Funny Quote #2
By George Burns. “Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or fourteenth.”
Funny Quote #3
By Steve Martin. “There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn’t stand for that.”
Funny Quote #4
By Chris Rock. You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush’, ‘Dick’, and ‘Colon’.”
Funny Quote #5
By Julio Iglesias. “When I came here, I couldn’t speak a word of English, but my sex life was perfect. Now my English is perfect but my sex life is rubbish.”
Funny Quote #6
By Leo Rosenberg. “First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.”
Funny Quote #7
By Mark Twain. “Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.”
Funny Quote #8
By Zsa Zsa Gabor. Personally I know nothing about sex because I have always been married.”
Funny Quote #9
By Stephen King. “Some people say that I must be a terrible person, but it’s not true. I have the heart of a young boy in a jar on my desk”
Funny Quote #10
By Phyllis Diller. “We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.”
Funny Quote #11
By Marilyn Monroe. “A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe, and leaves before she is left.”
Funny Quote #12
By Frank Lloyd Wright. “A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.”
Funny Quote #13
By Sharon Stone. “Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.”
Funny Quote #15
By Bob Marley. “Humor helps us to think out of the box. The average child laughs about 400 times per day, the average adult laughs only 15 times per day. What happened to the other 385 laughs?”
Help keep your mood happy by reading quotes like these everyday. You have fifteen to start with find 385 more to keep you laughing all day long like children.
