10 Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship
The dating scene in this day and age can be a scary matter. While many people have chosen to educate themselves, some still struggle with understanding how to manage relationships. This age has seen more wars, conflicts, invasions and escalations than any other time in history. Because of the conflict throughout the world it has left an impact on the people, pain, suffering, trauma and fear. Even if you weren’t affected directly you may have been indirectly. Perhaps you had a parent that was affected by the violence of war. Not to mention the war on drugs and terrorism that has devastated the world over the past 40 years. The victims of such atrocities are countless. Mental illness pervades, personality disorders and depression abound. In other words, the world has a lot of healing to do.
All of this and more makes finding an appropriate partner seem like Russian roulette. We have to be aware of what is happening in our communications with people particularly intimate partners. Here are ten sign to look for as potential warning signs to ensure that we have not fallen into a relationship that is inappropriate or even dangerous. If you find that your partner or potential partner posses 1 or more of the following traits then is likely that you are in or potentially entering a toxic relationship.
- 1. Jealousy- We all have some level of jealousy and sometimes a little of this can be a healthy part of a relationship. It lets both you and your partner know that you value the other person and or the relationship. If the jealousy becomes unbalanced or unhealthy it can cause tremendous problems. Does it negatively impact your communication? Does it leave you feeling violated? Does it force you to behave in a certain way? Does it lead to volatile behavior? If any of these are yes then this form of jealousy is unhealthy.
- 2. Low Self-Esteem- If your partner does not find value in themselves then they will not be able to value you or the relationship in a healthy manner. When a person is lacking in self-esteem it can lead to communication problems, hurt feelings and even lashing out in frustration. It is important that both partners be on equal footing.
- 3. Unfaithful- Has you partner been unfaithful in the past or with a previous partner? This is a definite sign that your feelings are not respected or validated. Get out of the relationship.
- 4. Ambiguity – Refusal to define the status of the relationship is a tactic that many people use to keep a partner trapped without living up to any responsibilities. If you need clarification and your partner refuses to provide by communicating with you in a mature and healthy manner, you need to move on.
- 5. Lack of respect for boundaries- Do you have a problem with your partner overstepping his or her bounds with you. If you have clearly defined boundaries that your partner continues to cross then these are blatant signs of a lack of respect and a use of force. This relationship will turn violent. Whether it be emotional violence, physical, sexual or mental, any form of violence is unacceptable.
- 6. Refusal to commit- If you have been honest with your partner in communicating that you need a commitment and your partner refuses then you may need to move on. Sometimes people need a little time to adjust to relationships before they can fully commit, that is a valid perspective and it should be recognized. However, if the relationship keeps dragging on and you are left feeling vulnerable because of the imbalance of commitment then this may be a sign that you are not right for each other or your partner is abusing your feelings.
- 7. Emotional violence- Violence of any kind is unacceptable in any relationship. There is never an excuse to use force, coercion, fear or domination to gain power and control over another individual, ever. GET OUT IMMEDIATELY!
- 8. Immaturity- All of us have some maturing to do on some level or another however if you and your partner are not on the same level then you may need to reconsider. It is possible that this type of relationship can lead to resentment, sometimes even bitterness or an imbalance of power and or responsibility.
- 9. Prejudice- All persons have some form of bias or prejudice. These are things that we all have to deal with on some level. However, if your prejudice causes you to feel superior or make another feel inferior then you have a serious problem. If you are facing this issue with your partner then you may be entering a toxic relationship.
- 10. Unstable relationship history- If your partner or potential partner has had a string of relationships that dealt with serious conflict then there is a problematic pattern that probably has not been addressed. You may be looking at a potential toxic relationship.
