Today, as I ran across a bizarre news story about those in Papua, Indonesia being barred from serving in the police force due to penis-enlargement, I laughed like an immature school girl. There were several reasons why this news story sparked my fancy, and it wasn’t because I needed a male enhancement treatment!
First, the police chief in Papua, Indonesia cited the main reason for not allowing males to have augmented penises and enlist in the police force was because their unusually large penis would get in the way of their duties. Seriously, how much more can a penis get in the way than an arm or leg? How big of a penis are we talking here? At what point does the police chief say, ‘drop your pants, I think you have exceeded the maximum penis girth’? Do you get a ticket or fine for having a large penis? Is this finding publicly advertised?
My second concern was the fact that Indonesian men are enlarging their penises by wrapping their genitals with leaves from the “gatal-gatal” (itchy) tree, thus giving them an allergic reaction. Who was the brilliant Indonesian man who discovered that the leaves give people a mild anaphylactic reaction? One would surmise that this reaction is harmful and possibly deadly. It likely doesn’t last long. In either case, the “benefits” don’t outweigh the deadly side affects. Do they have a drug campaign in Indonesia warning parents about finding “gatal-gatal” (itchy) tree leaves in their teenage boys’ rooms? They should! This might be a really horrible and long-lasting fad or craze!
This leads me to a related concern, one that I honestly had no foreknowledge about until now. How many other “scams” about penis enlargements are out there? What depraved and desperate measures do men go to increase their manly girth?
According to the MayoClinic, the average penis measures between 3 and 4 inches (7.6 to 10.2 centimeters) when it’s not erect (flaccid) and between 5 and 7 (12.7 to 17.8) centimeters inches when erect. A penis is considered abnormally small only if it measures less than 3 inches (7.6cm) when erect, a condition called micropenis.
Contrary to popular belief, most women don’t care about the size of the penis unless she has an unusually large vagina, in which case that’s not the man’s fault. Most women find it painful for the penis to slam against their cervix, typical of when a penis is rather hefty.
Many companies advertise their penis enlargement products with legitimate looking websites and commercials, enticing men to run out and get these products without hesitation. The better idea is get counseling or talk to your partner, as complaints about penis size is likely not the only issue in the relationship! There is no scientific proof that penis enlargement products work.
Here is why.
* Manual Squeezing Techniques: (not masturbation!) is the systematic squeezing of blood from the base of the penis to the tip of it to gain more blood flow to the penis. This is proven to lead to scars, crooked penises- particularly in the erect state, and significant pain.
* Stretching With Weights: even a penis can have a dumb bell I suppose! One simply wears a weight attached to their penis all day hoping that gravity and stretching it will create more length. I don’t know about you, but doesn’t this method seem just a tad bit conspicuous to carry out? When are you suppose to do this? I suppose the man would need to do this for long periods of time, but work and family would prevent this from occurring (I’ll let your imagination fill in the blanks as to why).
*Vacuum Pumps: like a breastfeeding pump, a man sits there and fondles his male organ with a vacuum pump monotonously and for long periods in the day. Wow. This would do wonders for a man’s social life, family life, and work life! Again, very impractical, also leads to pain, scars, personal degradation, a crooked penis, a lumpy erect penis, and a penis with performance issues. No thank you!
* Pills And Lotions: who would be dumb enough to believe that wiping a cream on a body part will make it grow? We aren’t lizards who regrow body parts!If it is too good to be true, it usually is. With that said, the most a man will get is a rash from these products and possibly some small breast buds. The side affects are definitely not worth it.
* Surgery: highly controversial and definitely not supported by the American Urological Association, the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery and the Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS), surgery also has unattractive side affects. Generally, the suspensory ligament (see attached photo) is severed, making the penis hang down more. The penis has not actually increased in growth or size. Sometimes fat from a man’s buttocks is injected into the penis shaft as well. This leads, again, to a malfunctioning and crooked penis, a flabby odd shaped penis, and erectile dysfunction.
The agreed and preferred method by most doctors and professionals in the field are the following:
* shave your pubic hair: copious amounts of hair make the penis look small. A “manscape” to your midsection is preferred by most women too.
*lose the gut: that big belly flapping over your genitals or penis definitely makes the penis look small!
* get counseling: having complaints in the bedroom, or having a self-perceived small penis may be a sign of mental health issues (depression also causes the penis to not function properly), or marital woes.
Please, take my advice, don’t resort to measures that will permanently scar, damage, or corrode your penis. There are many men in Indonesia right now itching to be bigger in the nether regions, only to suffer catastrophic side affects!
