Does your spouse have dissociative identity disorder? Are you unsure on how you can deal with your spouse’s dissociative identity disorder? To help understand what type of impact dissociative identity disorder can have on a marriage and for tips on how to deal with a spouse with dissociative identity disorder, I have interviewed therapist Leslee Bednark.
Tell me a little bit about yourself.
“I graduated from the University of Northern Colorado with a Bachelor’s Degree of Arts with an emphasis in Criminal Justice. I then graduated from the University of Colorado with a Master of Arts in Criminal Justice. My first job was in a community mental health center working with chronically mentally ill adults. I eventually went back to school a third time and graduated with a Master of Arts in Community Counseling. I became licensed in 2007 in Colorado as a Licensed Professional Counselor. I had been working in private practice doing counseling and consulting beginning in 2002. I developed an interest in working with women with Dissociative Identity Disorder while completing an internship in 2004. I started a group for women with dissociative identity disorder, which I facilitated for three years. Because I had been a victim of trauma myself, I was very interested in how people work through trauma and the impact that trauma can have on an individual and their family system. I moved to Maryland in 2007, and have recently been licensed as a Licensed Professional Counselor here.”
What type of impact can someone with dissociative identity disorder have on a marriage? Also what are some tips for dealing with a spouse with dissociative identity disorder?
“Individuals with dissociative identity disorder struggle in their marriages and relationships. Like anyone who has experienced severe trauma, life is a series of triggers that cause a person to react in a variety of ways. A spouse may or may not know the extent to which their spouse had been traumatized in their childhood. It is important for the spouse of the person with dissociative identity disorder to know as much about their illness and to be supportive of the person as much as possible. Depending on when the family becomes aware of the symptoms dissociative identity disorder education is absolutely imperative. Many spouses make the mistake of verbalizing a disbelief in the symptoms or of the ways in which the person’s illness manifests. Also, families and spouses may put pressure on the individual to ‘recover’ and be ‘normal.’ It is important for the spouse and family members of an individual with dissociative identity disorder to understand that recovery from severe trauma is often a lifelong process. An individual with dissociative identity disorder may live for half of their lives without knowing what is wrong, and when they are finally diagnosed, they may have to go in and out of the hospital and may require quite intensive treatment. A spouse should plan on being involved in family therapy, and it would be helpful to read books and grasp an understanding of what an individual with dissociative identity disorder goes through.
What type of professional help is available for someone that is having a difficult time dealing with a spouse with dissociative identity disorder?
It is important that the spouse of a person with dissociative identity disorder receive individual counseling if they are having difficulty in dealing with their significant other’s symptoms. There is a website called www.isst-d.org where you can find therapists that have specialized experience in treating dissociative identity disorder and would be knowledgeable in making appropriate referrals.”
What last words would you like to leave for someone that is dealing with a spouse with dissociative identity disorder?
“Remember that individuals with dissociative identity disorder have often experienced severe trauma. Be understanding and patient with their recovery. When a person is in crisis, they are crying out for help. Be a support when they are in crisis, even if it feels like they are always in crisis. Don’t judge, shame or guilt the person. Take time to care for yourself and learn as much as you can about dissociative identity disorder so you can have a better understanding of what your significant other lives with.”
Thank you Leslee for doing the interview on tips for dealing with a spouse with dissociative identity disorder. For more information on Leslee Bednark or her work you can check out her website on www.creativesolutionscounselinginc.com.
Recommended Readings:
Tips on Reducing Caregiver Stress
Caregiver Stress: Providing Care to Aging Parents
How to Cope with Aging Parents
