Unfortunately, self-esteem issues in teenagers can arise even if they have supportive, encouraging, and positive parents. The media, peers, adults, or illness can cause these issues. Let’s look at each cause individually:
The media portrays life a certain way. Even adults are affected by it, if they think they need to live up to a certain standard of beauty, fame, and wealth. This can be even truer for teenagers, especially if they have not found themselves yet. Teenage stars like Hillary Duff, Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears and many more grew up on screen and in tabloids. This glitz and glamour can seem so appealing to girls. Even teenagers that have everything going for them can get low self-esteem, if they compare their life to a lifestyle like that. However, it does not necessarily start and end with famous people. TV and movies cater to a certain teenage image. Long, tall, thin with perfect hair and flawless skin is what the norm is for teenage girls. If they don’t fit that category, low self-esteem can easily set in. This is especially true if teenagers do not have a support system – someone important in their lives to tell them they are fine just the way they are.
Peers can probably be the largest contributor to self-esteem issues, for boys as well as girls. For boys it’s usually that they have to be cool, athletic, and popular to fit in. No matter what the gender, if you somehow differ from the norm, those differences will be addressed and made fun of. Those differences can range from not having money or rich enough parents to afford certain clothes, to problems with acne or weight, or just looks like glasses and braces. Not only do teenagers that are affected by one or more of these issues feel helpless from lack of control over these things, now they also have to endure the jokes and comments. The ironic thing is, that the peers that make those comments about other teenagers, usually have self-esteem issues themselves. On the outside they may seem fine, but something is lacking in their lives, so they have to focus on another target and belittle someone else in order to feel complete and in control.
How do adults contribute to self-esteem issues in teenagers? Surely they would not do so – don’t they wish the best for their children? You would think so, but innocent comments can do great harm. Comments that are meant to discourage certain clothing styles can do more harm than good. So what if it is ninety degrees out and the teen wants to wear 3 layers. It does not matter if the patterns are too bold and the colors don’t match. As long as the clothing does not fall in the category of being very age inappropriate (too revealing), it won’t hurt anyone. Clothing is a very important way for teenagers to find themselves; cutting remarks can lead to self-esteem issues. Adults: keep in mind that your clothing from the seventies and eighties probably did not make much sense to your parents either.
Even if none of these factors already mentioned are present, teenagers can still suffer from low self-esteem. Illnesses like depression and bipolar disorder can cause these effects. These conditions don’t discriminate and can strike in any household, even if the parents provide a happy and well-adjusted home.
On the other hand, an unhappy home is likely to cause low self-esteem in teenagers, even if no other risk factors exist. The teenage years are difficult enough without the added stress of taking on the burdens and guilt of their parents.
The best medicine for self-esteem is a positive and balanced environment, with open lines of communication – and lots of love.
