As the mother of triplet boys, I have noticed some interesting things about MY children over the last few years. These things may or may not generalize to other multiples. Some of the interesting things I noticed during the early years include:
1. Multiple birth children tend to be closer than children born at different times. After all, they are raised with the very same environment. They have known each other since before birth. In fact, I have a cute ultrasound photo of two of my triplet children with the soles of their feet right next to each other’s and the membranes between.
2. When they were infants, they would suck each other’s thumbs. I’m not sure they knew whose thumb was in their mouth. They would also settle down for the longest time when placed in the same crib when they were very young.
3. I used to put them in those little exersaucers in the family room. I loved those things because the boys could be up, but they didn’t go anywhere. Before they spoke “adult”, they would have conversations with each other. They couldn’t have been more than 6 or 8 months old. One would say something. Another would giggle. Another would say something else. And so it went. I felt absolutely left out, since I had no idea what was going on.
4. As they grew older, they continued to understand each other better than I understood any of them. Once, my active child stood and told me something that I didn’t understand at all. I asked my more verbal child what he said. He repeating verbatim what the first child said. I wasn’t any wiser. Unfortunately, he couldn’t translate into “grown-up”.
5. Having more than one at the same stage of development can be absolutely disastrous. I think that they would get together and conspire with each other. One would think of something, and the next one would build on that. The creativity of their play was amazing. For example, they took many of the toys out of the toy chest. One of them climbed in and shut the sliding doors. The other one would be on the outside. The inside one would open the doors (almost like a drive through restaurant). They would play this for hours. Then there was the time they climbed on top of my car to see how the garage door opener worked….
6. When I was pregnant with my boys, I was singing with a group that was doing Handel’s Messiah. I absolutely believe that they learned a good bit of it while in utero. Their second Christmas (they would have been about 18 months old), the Messiah was on TV. My one son sang along with the Halleluiah Chorus. He had a little trouble with the pronunciation, but was spot on with the notes. Another would stand in front of the TV and conduct. He was right on the beat.
7. One of my sons is Autistic. I noticed a difference very early. If you have multiples, and you notice a developmental difference, keep track. If it persists, bring it to the attention of your pediatrician. If you get “blown off”, I highly recommend changing pediatricians or getting a second opinion. You have “age-matched controls” as I used to like to put it. Especially when they are very little, there shouldn’t be very much difference in their development.
8. There will, however be some difference in development. They got teeth at slightly different times. I used to say “If I could bottle drool, I would be rich”. I had one son that I was beginning to wonder about. Then he got 5 teeth in one week!
9. There are some things that they will fight about, and it is important to have enough for all of them. There are other things that you only need a limited number of and they can share. Unfortunately, there is not a really good guide for this. I did color code my children as much as possible, so I could tell at a glance to whom the item belonged to. If there was no way to color code it, we used first initials. Those were the first three letters of the alphabet my children learned. This was especially important when they started wearing shoes, as their feet were different sizes, but their little shoes looked the same. A little magic marker on the sole or heel works wonders in the chaos of getting three little squirmers dressed.
10. The best part of the day is all the hugs and loves. I always remembered to tell them “I love you” at least once a day. I still do. Of course, as teenagers, we keep it inside the car when dropping them off at school. When they were little, they would all “pile on Mom” as soon as I came home, and snuggle with me at bedtime. Those were the “bestest” parts of the day.
