Children, at times, exhibit different types of fears. This can be very frustrating for many adults that deal closely with the child that has fears, but it does not have to be. It is very important for adults to understand that the fears that children have are a necessary and normal part of life. Many child development specialists have noted it and mental health professionals that children learn to deal with uncomfortable situations by facing their fears and these aids in dealing with more serious issues that they will face later in life. Therefore, the child that experiences fear and learns to adjust to those fears will face challenging situations later in life on a more productive level. Fear also helps to protect people from dangerous situations and things that are unhealthy.
Typically, children who are very young will express particular fears. Some of these fears may include various types of monsters, the fear of the dark, among others. These are usually very normal fears that the child can overcome with your assistance. One of the first things that adults can do to assist a child with fears is to listen to them and understand that their fears are very real to them. While having a fear of a monster in the closet may seem outrageous to us, it is very real to the child experiencing it. Listen to the child when they express their fear and the reasoning behind the fear. This develops trust between you and the child. The child will grow to trust you with their feelings and will feel important because you care enough to take the time to listen to them. Once the fear has been established, it is important that you let the child know that you have fears too. Help them to understand that being fearful of something is normal and is a positive thing for them to experience.
If the child is afraid of something in the closet, or other parts of the home, you should allow them to take you to the place that they are afraid. You should then investigate the area with the child and show them that nothing is there. If there is a noise in the home that scares them, you should try to identify the sound. Once you have established what is causing the sound, you could show it to the child and then do your best to try to make the sound stop to comfort them even more. Some parents have been noted to perform a ritual to get rid of the things that the child is afraid of. If you feel that this may work, you may do it too. You and the child may gather some necessary items, like a candle and candleholder, and other things. You could light the candle and use the other items that you gathered and tell the thing that the child is afraid of to go away. This will help the child to believe that it is gone and that you supported them in making it go away.
My youngest child expressed a fear of the “cook ghost”. We had no idea where this was coming from and grew quite concerned. I spoke to my mother regarding the scare of the “cook ghost” and she offered a suggestion. While my son and I were sitting in her living room, she said, “I have just the thing to get rid of cook ghosts”, and she walked into her kitchen and pulled a can of air freshener from her cabinet. She then got a permanent marker and wrote “Cook Ghost Spray” across the can. She then gave the can to my youngest son, told him that any time he was afraid of the cook ghost all he had to do was spray the can and he would go away, and not come back. This seemed very silly to me initially, but after seeing the results, I was impressed. My son used the spray each time he was frightened and then, eventually, he no longer needed it. He quit using the spray before it was even gone! Later, when watching an episode of Spongebob Squarepants, we discovered that the “cook ghost” was the Flying Dutchman character on the show. If you have young children who enjoy Spongebob Squarepants and they start mentioning odd and unusual characters that they are frightened of, you may want to screen the show to see if you can find it on there first! This way you will know exactly what you are up against!
If you have very scary items in your home that are causing fear within your child, you may consider putting these items away until your child is old enough to understand that these things mean no harm. Some of these types of items may be figurines, pictures, paintings, and other things. It may take some work, and you may have to learn to miss the items, but your child will be comforted and that is all that matters.
This article lists just a few of the ways that you can help a child overcome fear. It is important that you understand to listen to a child when they are afraid of something. Many children who have been physically and emotionally abused often express fears in certain things. This is not always the case, but if a child seems exceptionally fearful to stay at a person’s home, or leave with someone, you should consider the causes for this and research more. If you find that a child is frightened of a certain place or person, you should not force them to go to that place or with that person. Cancel all plans, stay at home, and try to find the reason for the child’s phobia. It may be inconvenient, but you may be glad that you did later on.
