Depression is a dirty word. If you asked ten people what depression actually was, you would most likely get ten different answers! Some would say it’s sadness, others might call it weakness, and some would say it’s a disease. Depression is something that a ton of people have, but that not many know too much about. The problem is that everyone has their own opinion of what depression is, whether they are in the medical field or not, or even whether they are depressed or not!
Depression has many different levels and at some point in our lives I believe we all have depression on some scale. The differences lie in the symptoms of the depressive state and how long it lasts. This article is mainly about clinical depression. What it is and what it does to those who suffer from it. This depression is different from feeling sadness over the loss of a relative, or down in the dumps because work is stressful, or even the loss of a job. Clinical depression, often referred to as ‘˜major’ depression, is a disease, and a very serious one.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness defines it this way. “Major depression is a serious medical illness affecting 15 million American adults, or approximately 5-8 percent of the adult population in a given year. Unlike normal emotional experiences of sadness, loss or passing mood states, major depression is persistent and can significantly interfere with an individual’s thoughts, behavior, mood, activity, and physical health.” (National Alliance of Mental Illness, 2011)
As a sufferer of clinical depression for over ten years, I can say that this type of depression is brutally damaging, and the sad thing is that those who do not suffer from this, try as they may, will never truly understand what the person is experiencing. My wife has tried for so long to understand. I can’t explain it, and she can’t feel it. I think this comes back to what I said earlier about everyone being depressed at some point in their lives. Those that have felt the sadness, and the passing mood swings feel as if this should go away too, but it doesn’t, and they don’t understand why. It’s not their fault, but it can be very frustrating and put a great amount of strain on families.
There are so many symptoms that come with clinical depression. Many of them are like other levels of depression, though they don’t go away, and others are much worse. Here are some of the symptoms of major depression as described by the Mayo Clinic:
· Feelings of sadness of unhappiness
· Irritability or frustration, even over small matters
· Loss of interest or pleasure in normal activities
·(Staff, 2010)
These are just a few symptoms of the many they describe on their site. Since I have suffered from clinical depression for so many years, I compiled a list of my thoughts and feelings when I am really down and hurting. Most of these fall into some of the symptoms above, though they go a little deeper, in hopes of giving a true understanding to those who do not suffer from this horrible disease.
These feelings include: Having no purpose, feeling as if you are only existing as opposed to living, having a comfort zone or safe place such as your home, temporary fixes or false happiness such as alcohol or drug addiction, anxiety, feeling as if life is going forward for everyone but you, making excuses to avoid social engagements, and just feeling like around every turn is another failure.
These are some of the things I dealt with when I was in the worst part of my clinical depression. One of the greatest things to know when suffering from this disease is that you are not alone. It was a great relief to me to find out that other people actually understood how I felt and didn’t take my condition as a sign of weakness or laziness. I wish I could say that I am totally free of depression today, but unfortunately, it still rears its ugly head occasionally, mainly when I am beginning to feel better and start fresh on life.
Though the depression can still bring me down at times, there is a hope that I now have and it has been many years since I’ve been down into the pit that I was in at my lowest point. Honestly, a few different factors have helped me to pick myself up, and back up again. If you are suffering from clinical depression, you are probably taking, or at least taken medicines for it at some point.
This is a difficult and hard road to go down for most. There are so many anti-depressants and anxiety drugs that are used to battle this disease. So many and more are being released everyday it seems sometimes. Doctors will try these medicines, and some will work, and some will not. Some will cause other problems, some will be too big. There are many different variables that have to fall into place to find the right medicine for each individual. The key is NOT to give up on this process! It took me years to find what worked best for me. However, much of that time was my own fault for giving up on the meds if they didn’t work right away, or feeling better and then quitting them altogether, only to have to start back again once the medicine was out of my system. This is crucial! You can feel better with the right medicines, and with a little time and effort, you can find them!
Another thing that helped me, and probably most important in the long term, was my faith. It was in my lowest moments that I found God, and He gave my life purpose and made me want to keep it, because I have a wife and children to take care of. I understand that some may dismiss this, but I can attest to the fact, yes fact, that crying out to God in my worst of moments, saved my life. Today, I still rely on Him when the enemy begins to attack again.
Last, but by no means least, was the support of my family. My mother and father, my wife and children, my entire family, supported me. Though they didn’t always understand what I was going through, they did support me, and love me, and that made a huge difference. I wasn’t sure I was loved at all when I was at my worst point of depression. I understand that some may not have full support of family, and in that case I would plead with you to rely on God, and look at things that you need to be here for. Sometimes we don’t see it, but there is always someone that loves us and needs us.
Clinical depression is a terrible disease, but one that there is truly hope for. I pray that any of you suffering from this will find that hope, as I have. It may not be a 100% cure, but when you feel like that, you’ll take anything you can get!
Works Cited
National Alliance of Mental Illness. (2011). NAMI. Retrieved May 19, 2011, from NAMI: www.nami.org
Staff, M. C. (2010, February). Depression (major depression). Retrieved May 19, 2011, from Mayo Clinic: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression
