How you moved into a new neighborhood but have yet to meet your neighbors or become friends with them? Have you lived on the same block for years, yet don’t know anything about any of your neighbors? In my neighborhood, all of us on my block do things together year-round, right where we live, be it indoor or outdoor house parties, outdoor pizza parties, or just bringing our grills onto the sidewalk and sharing a potluck meal. The reason: We enjoy each other’s company and truly care about each other.
We never used to be this way, however. Normally, in the winter the only times we’d see each other was either while shoveling snow, brushing off our cars, dashing out of the house to go somewhere, or dashing in when we returned. Occasionally one neighbor would wave to another. During other seasons, despite the lack of snow and cold, it wasn’t much different. Those of us working in our yards sometimes waved to each other, but that was it. And while the parents who had children usually kept tabs on whose house theirs were playing in, even they never really formed any friendships.
Here are some easy, casual ideas for year-round neighborhood “parties” we did to help us bond. You can do it, too!
OUR BLOCK’S INDOOR, WINTER, SOUP HOUSE PARTY: It all started one winter when a new couple moved into a house smack dab in the middle of our block. Since they wanted to meet the rest of us, they decided to hold a “soup party” at their place and invite the entire neighborhood. Unknowingly, their brainstorm turned into a way for all of us to finally meet each other.
Admittedly, this initially required some work. The couple’s first obstacle was finding a way to reach us. Their solution was to make up a batch of flyers and put them under all of our doors. (They had to leave some in people’s mailboxes, although the Post Office says we shouldn’t do this.) On the flyers, the couple included their name, address and phone number, told us a little about themselves, and invited us over at a specific time, besides explaining that this would be a good way for us to meet each other. They said that we didn’t have to bring anything, but of course we knew we could. They also attached a separate sheet of paper with lines for us to fill in our names, addresses and phone numbers, the names and ages of our kids if we had any, along with how many total people could come, and asked us to leave that sheet under their door.
When we arrived, there were three big pots on the stove, with a ladle in each, filled with different kinds of soup. On their table were bowls and plates, a loaf of bread and butter, and we were invited to help ourselves. Meanwhile, most of us visiting neighbors had brought along a variety of breads, fruits slices, cheese and crackers, and wine. Needless to say we had quite a feast, but we also had a wonderful time chatting and getting to know each other. As we left, the couple gave us all a typewritten copy of the list with everyone’s “vital statistics” to keep for future reference, and if we wanted to call one another. (I still have mine to this day, and just update it when necessary.)
After that we began feeling like friends, freely acknowledging each other whenever we saw one another outside, even if it had to be quick. And because of our lists, we soon were able to attach names to the faces.
All it takes is one person-an instigator: Try instigating some type of neighborhood get-together or party any time of year yourself. Soon others on your block will start one, too.
We learned some important tips from that soup party.
If you invite your neighbors over to your place:
1. You don’t have to serve anything fancy. Choose food items that are fairly simple and convenient for you, where you won’t have to go through a lot of work.
2. You don’t have to provide any entertainment. Get enough people together, and just talking with each other will provide all the entertainment they’ll need.
3. Use plastic or paper dishes and utensils. Not only will this feel more informal, but everyone will understand that this isn’t a time to impress anyone. Then you’ll be able to relax and join in the festivities, and not worry about having to wash the dishes later. This will also inspire other neighbors to host a party at their homes.
OUTDOOR SPRING, SUMMER OR AUTUMN BLOCK PARTIES ON YOUR SIDEWALKS: The following spring, a different neighbor dreamed up the idea of our having a neighborhood grilling party. She printed up flyers inviting us to bring our grills onto the sidewalk in front of her house so together we could grill our favorite foods, suggested that we bring potluck side dishes or desserts to share, and gave us the date and starting time for the event. She said her family would supply the beverages.
When the time arrived, she set up large folding tables to hold the food, but that wasn’t enough, so we brought some out, too. Several of us brought more pop and beverages, which we kept in coolers. Buns, paper plates, plastic cups, napkins, condiments; everything was covered. Everyone had brought extra folding chairs. If we needed anything else, one of us simply ran to our house and got it. We had salads and potatoes, meats, veggies, and fruits galore, besides some delicious desserts, and this time we really bonded.
We had separate containers for recycling cans and bottles, and others for our regular trash. Everyone helped clean up.
*Note: This is different from block parties held in the middle of the street, where you barricade the street at each end. See further down, under National Night Out, for those requirements. But you don’t have to wait until that particular date to hold a blocked-off street party! The procedures are the same.
OUTDOOR BLOCK PIZZA PARTIES/no fuss, no muss: No matter what the time of year, it’s fun gathering with the neighbors, bringing your own beverages, and ordering a bunch of pizzas to share. The ideas are limitless! In the spring and fall, when it’s chilly, if your city permits open bonfires, you can all gather round in someone’s yard instead of going inside. Otherwise, one of those smaller clay or cast iron “chimneys” or an enclosed outdoor fireplace can make the atmosphere just as cozy. And if you’re still chilly, you can wrap a blanket around yourself. Other than paper plates and napkins (and maybe some hot chocolate with marshmallows), you really don’t need anything except, again, containers for recyling your cans and glass, and others for the regular trash.
Paying for the pizza: If you instigate the party, just make sure you specify that those who participate will contribute towards the cost. And unless one of you picks up the pizzas, make sure you allow for a generous tip.
ROTATING INDOOR HOUSE PARTIES: During another winter, three households joined forces and instigated a “rotating house party,” so we neighbors could go to three different homes for food and camaraderie. The people at the first home served soup, and the rest of us brought bread, cheese and crackers, similar to our original “soup” party. From there, we all went to the second home, where they served a main dish and beverages, and we brought side dishes and salads. The last home was for deserts. They provided ice cream with various toppings, besides a variety of beverages, and we brought various baked goods. Again, your option of ideas is limitless.
Include Your Kids: Since these are family events, those with children were free to bring them along. Many youngsters settled down on laps; others got together and played games. We simply told them “no running around or screaming, or you can’t stay” and they complied. In fact, when one child tried to test that rule, the other kids told him to stop fooling around, and he did. He learned it was easier to ignore his parents than his peers.
Also, some of the older kids kept the youngsters occupied with storytelling and movies, while several teenagers got together and played board and video games. We adults basically ate and talked. Believe me, we had some intriguing conversations.
Note: The next year, I got a flyer from two of my neighbors, who picked a date for us to have our second rotating house party. On the sheet, they picked a date for the affair, and a deadline for when we’d have to reply with the options of: 1. if we’d like to merely attend, 2. host a course but not cook, 3. host and provide a course, or 4. provide food but not host. For this rotating house party, they suggested we make four stops this time: one residence for hors d’oeuvres, the next for soup or salad, the following for our main meal and side dishes, and the last for dessert. All we have to do is circle our choice and return the flyer, or give one of them a call. (Their phone numbers and e-mails were included on the flyer for our convenience.) They did the coordinating and got back to us.
Now we have each other’s home and cell phone numbers, and e-mails. When one of us figures it’s time for another house or outdoor block party, that person group e-mails us and we respond with our ideas.
MAKE IT POTLUCK: Our potluck meals are truly potluck. Some bring their favorite dishes, others try new or favorite recipes. Bring what works best for you.
IMPROMPTU GRILLING PARTIES: Often we have impromptu grilling parties, spreading the word by mouth and phone that at such-and-such time that same day, we’ll be pulling our grills out onto the sidewalk. And someone is always thinking of an idea how we can make it more fun for everyone.
Don’t Forget the Apartments on Your Block: Apartment dwellers are often ignored by residents on residential blocks, but they too are our neighbors. If you post an invitation inside the apartments, where it can be seen by all the renters, you will not only make them feel welcome, but you may make some more good friends.
COOKIE EXCHANGE: Every winter one family hosts a cookie exchange for the women on my block. Those who participate bake a dozen or so cookies and bring them to her house. She serves tea and coffee, and we have a “cookie party.”
NATIONAL NIGHT OUT/yearly residential block event: National Night Out, introduced by the National Association of Town Watch in 1984, is a national crime/drug prevention event traditionally held the first Tuesday in August. In 2004, 34 million people in over 10,000 communities participated from all 50 states, including the U.S. territories, Canadian cities, and military bases worldwide, and the number of people grows every year.
How it Works: For this event, barricades are set up at each end of the street so no motorized vehicles and outside traffic can drive through. Basically, one resident on your block (a chairperson) is in charge of completing the necessary paperwork, which includes acquiring a permit and going house to house to get signatures from your neighbors on a “petition.” By signing the petition, residents are agreeing that they have no objection to their street being blocked off on that day. (Any non-residential establishments in the immediate vicinity that would be affected by the closing of the street should be notified, too.) Then you can bring your folding tables (for the food) and folding chairs (for yourselves) into the street and mingle all you want.
Where you get the permit differs with each city-call your City Hall or Police Department to find out. The permit generally costs about $35 and is payable with the application. In general, city ordinances require that you turn in your permit three weeks prior to the event, and some cities charge less if you turn yours in sooner. Depending on your circumstances, participating neighbors can either pay a percentage towards it when they sign the petition, or the “chairperson” may decide to pay up front and collect donations to cover it later; even during the party, by spreading the word that a collection jar is on one of the tables for this purpose.
The permit also facilitates acquiring the barricades. Usually the Public Works Department delivers them before the party, and all you have to do is leave them on the curb, where they will be picked up the next work day.
Bring Out the Food: Once again, we do it potluck.
Special Things You Can Do on National Night Out: Let your kids become acquainted firsthand with some police officers and/or fire fighters. If you ask, the city will send over a squad car and/or fire engine. (Other than the fee to block off your street, there’s no extra charge for this.) The ones who’ve visited us have invited any of us, including the kids, to sit in their squad car or fire engine, and to even work the siren and loudspeaker. They’ve also passed out stickers and other goodies. Don’t forget to offer them a plate so they can have a snack, too.
Simple Ideas For the Kids: With barricades at each end, even the little kids can play in the street. (Of course we always explain to ours why they can on that night, and everyone still watches them as a whole.) You can set up a rolling basketball hoop so they (and the adults) can play. The kids can ride their bikes and skateboards in the street, or hold foot races and sprints.
Imaginative ideas: One year, some theatrical-minded kids from a family on our block made up a play and invited the other kids in our neighborhood to join in and perform it for us. Another year, the parents of the younger children pooled some money together and rented one of those huge plastic bubbles so their kids could jump around inside. If someone on your block is artistic, they can set up a space for face painting. Also, both we adults and the kids have had fun with those spinners where you dab blobs of ink on a wheel and spin it to create a design. Use your imagination!
Always Remember to Recycle whether your block party is someone’s house or outside, whatever the time of year. Use separate containers or bags for your cans, bottles and actual trash. By recycling, you’re helping to sustain our natural resources and the environment, and saving everyone extra work.
IN CLOSING: Because of that one couple–the instigators–and their idea of holding a block-wide soup party in their house, my neighborhood is now a block filled with good friends year-round. When a household goes on vacation, there are plenty of neighbors willing to watch their home, and pets. Whenever we have to borrow something, need any kind of help, or just seek companionship, we can turn to our neighbors.
My neighbors have made my life richer and fuller, so that now, every time I pull into my driveway, I’m truly glad to be back where I belong–on “my block” back home. Try being an instigator on your block.
