It can be a very trying experience to see a loved one off on a military deployment. The countdown ticker seems to move so slowly, while your life back home just doesn’t seem the same. It’s difficult for your soldier, too! The best thing you can do while your loved one is overseas is to optimistically, cheerfully, and lovingly support him or her. Here are 6 suggestions for ways you can support your deployed soldier from a girl who survived her boyfriend’s year-long tour of Afghanistan:
1. Send Care Packages: Not only are they fun to receive, but they are fun to make! I sent a monthly care package, usually with a theme. At Christmas time, you could send a miniature tree with decorations, a stocking full of treats, and a wrapped gift or two. Around Valentine’s Day, you could send heart-shaped cookies (if they are homemade, individually wrap them in cellophane to preserve their freshness even more), a mushy card, and a picture of you! The sky is the limit (well, technically, your wallet is the limit, but you get the point…) There are plenty of Associated Content articles about how to ship care packages and ideas for what to include, so be sure to check them out if you are stumped.
2. Send the News: Deployed soldiers ache for a taste of home, and you can satisfy that need! Send pictures of local events, newspaper clippings (or links to online articles) about interesting news, or even videos of people and places from back home. This will help the soldiers be able to readjust more easily once they return, as well, because it is often a shock for them to see how much people, places, and things have changed in their absence.
3. Get Others Involved: Give your soldier’s address to friends and family and ask them to send encouraging letters or cards. If you have kids, especially, get them involved in the process by having them draw pictures, write letters, or make special gifts for care packages. You might also ask local service organizations to adopt your soldier’s platoon, and they will send care packages and support letters to your soldier and his or her comrades.
4. Stay Connected: It is important to maintain regular communication to keep each other updated on events and just to maintain some level of intimacy. This is a challenge on deployments because of time zone changes, limited internet or phone access, and unpredictability of schedule. However, depending on your loved one’s job, you may be able to establish a regular schedule based on your individual situation. Figure out whether your soldier will have internet or phone access and in what capacity, and from there determine an email, phone, and online chat (video chat, if possible!) schedule that works for you. I am sure that if your soldier could, he or she would spend all day talking to you, and it probably hurts when that is not possible – so be supportive, flexible, and understanding, and operate by the motto that you will take what you can get!
5. Pray: Nothing beats the power of prayer! Spend your own personal time praying for your loved one, but also get your church or religious community involved. Include him or her on a prayer line. Do whatever you can to get people remembering your loved one in their prayers… and then trust that God will provide!
6. Take Care of You: When I was going through a loved one’s deployment, it ruled my life. I missed out on many life opportunities and spent a lot of time unnecessarily stressed out. My suggestion to you is to be as available as you can be without rearranging your entire life. Most deployed loved ones would rather know that you are having fun and enjoying your life than sitting in front of a computer or cuddling your cell phone in bed. Count down milestones instead of days (the passing of holidays, six-month mark, “double digits”) to make the time go by faster. Continue to try new things, meet new people, and do what you love. This will also give you stories to share when you do get to talk to your soldier!
Finally, try to be optimistic and upbeat when talking to him or her. It is difficult enough to be overseas and away from everything familiar, in potentially dangerous situations, let alone being sad that loved ones back home are depressed. Certain serious situations may need to be unavoidably discussed, but be mindful of your soldier’s stress level and try to be calm, collected, and positive during such times. Above all, keep looking ahead and knowing that this, too, shall pass!
