It’s something every woman fears. Your dear friend is getting married. She wants you to be a bridesmaid. You go along to the gown store for shopping and fitting and she chooses a hideous contraption of baby blue chiffon, lace, and frills. In fact, you think she may have coped the dress exactly from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It even poofs out at the bottom like a mermaid tail. You end up paying over $300 for this dress and with alterations, you still feel like a clown and look like a lampshade. You vow, you’ll pick attractive bridesmaid dresses someday. But when that day rolls around, can you be trusted? Personally, I have been in five weddings and have attended well over thirty in my life. Now as my peers are reaching their mid-twenties, more and more wedding announcements are appearing in my mailbox. As a dutifully bridesmaid, I will of course, wear any dress the bride chooses. However, after attending so many weddings and watching numerous bridesmaid atrocities walk down the aisle, there are a few things that I have learned about bridesmaid dresses. There are also a few things that your bridesmaids would love for you to consider before you choose a dress. Hopefully, as my days as a bridesmaid increase, my own friends will take the following things into consideration.
Not every bridesmaid dress misstep is as atrocious as the dresses often seen on television or movies. The dresses in My Best Friend’s Wedding come to mind, as does Rachel’s dress in Barry and Mindy’s wedding on Friends. Awful bridesmaid dresses have been around for as long as brides have been around. Rarely do brides intentionally choose dresses that make most of us look like stuffed sausages, seasick cruise passengers, or a lace factory. In fact, usually they’ve simply picked a dress they thought was pretty or is their favorite color. This is often paired with the phrase, “I wanted to pick something you could wear again!” This almost never happens as usually the dress is uncomfortable, unflattering, and a color you’d never want to wear again. In order to be courteous and classy bride with a beautiful and happy wedding party, a few steps should be considered when beginning the dress process.
1. Your bridal party’s skin tone and hair color should be considered. If the majority of your bridal party is light skinned and fair-haired, don’t choose a pastel color unless you want them to appear washed out. This is also true with olive skin and colors like yellow or light green. When choosing a color, try to find one that will complement all of the skin tones. Of course if your bridal party is fairly diverse, this may be more difficult. In general, deep rich colors look better on most skin tones than lighter pale colors. For example, emerald, crimson, plum, midnight blue, or black look wonderful on the lightest ivory to the darkest coffee. If you’re really hoping to have a light color, try working with a two tone effect. For example, bright orange is too overwhelming for an entire dress, while a light peach will make most skin tones lighter than chocolate appear sallow and ill. In this case, look for a peach dress with bright orange accents. Most importantly, it should have the brighter, vibrant color around the neck line and trimming all of the edges of the dress. This way the skin color won’t be so washed out by the pale color. Another popular trend is to pair a white lacy top, with a very thin matching ribbon, with a full satin skirt of any other color. This option allows for the greatest color variety and no concerns about skin and color mismatches. The skirt can be as bright or colorful as you wish, thought it should be a solid color. The white top downplays the color but gives a very soft and feminine look to the dress, while matching every skin tone perfectly. Note: All-peach and all-lavender dresses are hideous on a majority of skin types. They’re also hideously over used. Try to branch out and away from these over-done ill-worn wedding colors.
2. Consider body type and size before choosing a dress style. Sure, you love that sleek and simple satin sheath gown and it would definitely look classy at your wedding. But your best friend with a D-cup and runner’s thighs is going to spend all night trying to hide behind her bouquet. Classic gowns can look great on all varities of bodies. Unless you have a group of women that are all 34B and wear a size 6 jean, there are certain styles you should avoid. A strapless, empire-waist dress might look good on you, but will it on a bigger friend? Are some of your bridesmaids moms? Strapless bras are great, but for some pregnancy and breast-feeding can wreak havoc with what used to be young, perky breasts. Don’t force her into a strapless gown just because it’s what you would wear. Your bridesmaid dress choices should be more about what will make your bridesmaids look beautiful and less about what kind of dress you would want to wear. You’re not wearing it and if they don’t look good, it’ll show in your pictures forever. Clingy satin gowns will make curves stand out. But they’ll also accentuate an overweight girl’s problem areas while highlight a very thin girl’s lack of curves. For most, a dress should do the following: create a slight hourglass appearance by accenting the breasts, or creating an appearance of breasts, while drawing the waist in so as to look smaller than the hips and breasts. From the waist the dress should fall gracefully and comfortably, neither adding bulk to the bottom, nor hugging hips and thighs tightly. As you’re browsing the possibilities, try to picture each woman in the dress. Again, unless you have a group of young women that are able to go bra-less, always choose a style that can at the very least, be worn with a strapless bra.
3. Keep it simple. Some of the most awful bridesmaid dresses are just that because there is far too much going on with them. Avoid bunchy material, extra bows, lace, ribbon, sleeves, beading or sequence. A simple a-line, floor-length lined gown with an empire waist and simple straps looks beautiful on nearly everyone. Instead of trying to do something original or unique, try going for a classic look. This doesn’t mean you should bring back the poofy sleeves and hoop skirts of the 1980’s or choose a shapeless sack of material, but consider what your bridesmaids will feel most comfortable in. In the end, your wedding day is all about you and your future spouse. Your bridesmaids will be catering to you and helping you through pictures, the ceremony, and all the way through the end of the night. They’ll probably also be hosting showers, bachelorette parties, and buying you gifts. The best present you can give them in return is to choose a comfortable, attractive dress that won’t make them cringe at every fitting. If you’d really like some explosive colors, try pairing a black gown with a bright ribbon or sash. This look is very popular and helps bring a slimming affect to the waist area. Another option to incorporate more color is to have bright bouquets. Fiery bunches of orange, red and yellow will pop out against the black of a dress. Finally, remember that there is no rule or requirement that your bridesmaids wear matching gowns. You are completely free to pick out different styles for each of them, or, to let them pick their own. How organized and matching they are is entirely up to you.
When it comes to picking your bridesmaid dresses, the decision is ultimately yours and yours alone. However, don’t try to find something to please anyone else. Of course, what you like should be your first priority because it is your wedding. But if you can manage to find something you like that will compliment your bridesmaid’s natural beauty, your wedding will be all the more beautiful. Remember also that there’s a good chance these women will also be choosing bridesmaid dresses for you at some point. Don’t turn your weddings into a competition as to who could pick the worst dresses. Instead, choose a dress that will have everyone at your wedding commenting on how incredibly classy you really are.
