Everyone has something they’re afraid of, for some it’s snakes and or spiders, or clowns; for others it’s the dark or silence in the night or flying in airplanes. And for other’s yet, there may be certain objects, such as spoons or rope that set off the nerves that fill our minds and bodies with fear and dread. Believe it or not, there are things you can do to alleviate the level of fear your feel about your phobias and in some cases, to eliminate them altogether. Many people believe you have to pay a psychiatrist to treat you, other’s believe there is nothing that can be done to help. For most people, neither is true. The actual fact of the matter is, most fears are rooted in events from our past, and just as those fears were planted in our subconscious, they can surely be extricated. If you have a fear about something and wish to reduce or get rid of it altogether, try these five simple steps for beating your phobia:
Step 1 – Identify your Fear. The first thing you have to do is find out what your fear really is. To do this, you need to really think through your fear. Sometimes, what might appear to be the thing you fear is in reality only a symptom of what lies beneath. For example, if you, like millions of others, are afraid of the dark, it might be that you are actually more afraid of what might happen in the dark, than of the dark itself. To prove this to yourself, think about when you are sleeping. As you lay there with your eyes, closed, to your brain, it is in fact dark. And that is why your brain triggers the sleep mechanism. Also, you might ask yourself, are you afraid of the dark only when alone? Or only inside or outside? There are many ways for things to be dark, are you afraid of all of them? Or just some. You need to identify which ones apply to you. Then, once you identify which sort of darkness it is that frightens you, you are on the path towards discovering your true fear. For example, if you afraid of being alone in your room in the dark, is it possible that what you are actually afraid of, is, something bad happening that you can’t seem coming, which is in essence, a form of loss of control. If you suspect this might be the case, you might examine other areas of your life. Are you nervous when someone else is driving and you’re in a car? Do you stress over order in your home? Do you panic when others intrude on your carefully maintained order? If so, it seems you might have found your true phobia. The fear of losing control.
The bottom line here, is you need to look deeper into your fear to see if there is something else behind it. Another example. Many people fear spiders. Why? It might be something in our genes, or it might be we are simply afraid of the unknown. It might also be because some of us have had unpleasant experiences with them. Why, is only important because in identifying why we are afraid of something, we are given the tools to help us deal with our fears. This leads to step 2.
Step 2 – Analyze your Fear to find out why you Fear it. Once you have gotten to the bottom of your fear, it’s critical that you discern why it is you fear that thing. Why are you afraid of losing control? Did you see the consequences of it growing up? Perhaps it was drilled into you as child. Or, why are you afraid of flying? Is it simply another form of fear of losing control? Discovering the basis for our fear gives us the ability to conceptualize it, which in turn allows us to see the enemy we are going to fight. To beat your phobia you need to be able to look it square in the eyes and whack it one. Which leads to step 3.
Step 3 – Face your Fear head on. Now that you know what your fear really is, and why you fear it, you’re ready to face that fear. Unfortunately, for most people, this is the hardest part, because to face your fears, you have to actually do something, not just think about it. If your fear is losing control, you have to put yourself in situations where things are allowed to get out of control. If your fear is spiders, you have to go to the zoo and let them put spiders on you. Whatever your fear, you have to confront it, head on. If it’s water, go swimming, if it’s heights, go skydiving. Depending on your fear, you might need to get educated as well. If you’re going to battle a fear of snakes for example, you might want to learn which are poisonous. If you’re going to battle a fear of the dark, you might want to make sure you don’t put yourself in a position where you really could get attacked by somebody. If it’s a fear of flying, on the other hand, you might want to bone on up fatality statistics. In any event, whatever it is, if you want to beat it, you have to go do battle with it. Granted, you don’t have to go whole hog the first time. Sometimes, it’s enough to just dip in your toe, or to look at a picture book of spiders before messing with the real things. The point is, you have to get active, because your fears are going to sit there in your psyche until you do. There is no other way. Just do it.
Step 4 – Do it again, and again and again. As if doing it once isn’t enough, you have to do it again and again. Over and over. This is because doing it once only confirms that you really are scared to death of whatever causes your fear. Facing it and battling it over and over though, allows you to prove to yourself that you won’t get hurt, or die. Or you won’t go crazy if things get out of control. Also, doing it over and over causes it to sink into your subconscious where fear actually lives. If you do it enough times, you’ll eventually grow bored with doing it and that’s when you’ll find the fear beginning to diminish.
Step 5 – Revisit your Fear. Once you’ve locked horns with your fear and beat it by facing it over and over, you might think you’ve beat it forever. Unfortunately, our brains don’t work that way. Once you beat your fear, you need to go back periodically and beat it again. It’s like mice in the granary. You can kill them all, but eventually, one day, there they’ll be again. Don’t let that fear back into your brain. Go swimming occasionally, visit spiders, lay in the dark. Do those things all over again periodically, for the rest of your life.
Following the five steps listed above has been proven to help lesson the fear that is associated with phobias. Undertaking these steps should not be taken lightly however, because fear itself is never something to be taken lightly. If it’s at all possible, it is strongly recommended that these steps be taken with the support of other people. If you’re deathly afraid of swimming, for example, absolutely, positively, do not attempt to go swimming alone. Be sure your support person will be there for you regardless of how your attempts turn out, but also be sure that it is you that is facing your fear and conquering it, not your support person doing it for you. That might help them, but it won’t you. If you have a phobia that is interfering with your life, I hope you will try these five steps and find success in overcoming your fears. Good luck.
