I’m Rob, I am and have been an alcoholic for the majority of my adult life. I never thought I would ever be able to quit drinking and would tremble at the thought of facing my waking life without a drink. I lost friends, my health started to deteriorate and my liver started to fail and yet I continued to drink. I’d start off each day with some strong cider and would shut myself away and immerse myself in day time television. I didn’t care about the fact that I was killing myself all I cared about was ensuring I had enough money to get the next drink. I felt suicidal most of the time, I was unreasonable and irritable, although I was never violent, I was not the nicest of people.
A year ago however,something happened to me, I made a decision to quit drinking and did, and today April 23 2007 is my anniversary. I can’t say it was an easy thing to do, but I managed to do it and a year on I am so pleased that I did. My relationships are now fantastic, I have a profitable business online, I’m getting married this year and the future looks rosy indeed.
Anyway I’m not going to bore you with any more about me, I’m going to tell you exactly how you can give up drinking for good and change your life for the better.
The first step you need to take is to accept that you have a problem, I think this is the hardest part for all alcoholics. You think you can cut down, deny the fact that you have a problem (even though everyone close to you can see that you do!). If you cannot accept that your drinking is interfering with your life, then you might as well not bother reading any more of this article because you won’t get anywhere.
Here’s a simple test to determine whether you are an alcoholic or not:
- Do you hide your drinking from other people?
- Do you avoid commitment because it will interfere with your drinking?
- Do you ever drive your car whilst under the influence of alcohol?
- Do you frequently have arguments with your partner when you’ve been
drinking? - Do you say and do things you regret whilst drinking?
- Do you have periods where you can’t remember what you did whilst
drinking? - Do you think about drinking every day?
- Once you’ve started drinking do you want more?
- Do you drink alone, rather than in company?
- Would you find it strange to leave half a glassful of your drink?
- Do you gulp your first drink down really fast?
- Do you have a drink at night to help you to sleep?
- Do you drink little and often throughout the day?
- Would you have a drink before going to a teetotal function?
- Have you ever lost a job/ friends because of your drinking?
- Are you worried about your drinking?
I could list many more questions based upon my experiences, but if you say yes to more than a few of the above questions you probably have some degree of alcohol dependence. If you’ve read the above and still can find excuses for your drinking, then you’d better come back sometime in the future, but remember not to leave it too long!
OK, if you’ve accepted you have a problem the next thing to do is to talk to your doctor about your problem and set a day for stopping. Stopping drinking can be very dangerous if you have a physical dependence on the drug (as was the case with me) and you really need medical assistance/ advice before you do anything. The Doctor will possibly prescribe a short term dose of Valium, which will really help you to get through the withdrawal, which can be extremely unpleasant.
You will be presented with options for rehab, which may be under medical supervision or within your own home, if you are offered the opportunity to have some counseling go for it, I had four sessions and they really helped me.
On the first day you stop drinking take a photograph of yourself and store it on your computer, do the same thing a month later and you’ll be amazed how different and better you look. This was a great strategy for me, when I saw how much my complexion head improved, I knew there was no way I was going to go back to drinking. Take a look at this photo I took and you’ll see what I mean, this was taken on the day I quit and two weeks after.
Okay so now you’ve done it you’ve stopped drinking, its been a few days and you’re spending a lot of time thinking about alcohol. It’s like having a little devil on your shoulder who’s saying, “Go on have a drink, you’ll be alright you can control this…” You’ve got to learn to become the master of that voice, if you listen and start finding excuses you’ll be back to where you were in no time. That inner voice has no place in your life, I’d recommend looking up a site on the internet called Rational recovery http://www.rational.org/ this site really helped me and after intense research on the internet found it to be the best thing out there.
If you’re thinking about going to Alcoholics Anonymous, forget it! If you really want to keep off the alcohol it has to be YOU that beats this thing, I tried AA and it was a waste of time for me. I believe in empowerment and believe me you won’t find that at AA. You need to take responsibility for your life or you will fail, once you’ve taken responsibility the rest is a breeze….well almost.
It’s going to be hard and you’re going to come to face with the original things that made you drink in the first place. Try to fathom out what it was that made you develop your addiction. I used brainwave entrainment to help me to meditate and to discover more about myself. I found meditation helped me to relax and to stay calm, determined and focused. I’d recommend giving it a try. Self hypnosis may also help. You’re not looking for a distraction, you’re looking for the reasons why you drank in the first place.
For me it was insecurity, I could point the finger at people in my past and say…”It was because of you….” and so on, but that isn’t going to help you. Just accept you are the way you are because of events in your past, but you’re tough enough to get over it now. Believe me, thinking this way really helps, once you take responsibility for your life each day without alcohol does get easier.
After a month of not drinking I was able to feel comfortable with alcohol in the house, my partner and her children drink and there’s always some bottles of beer and wine in the house, but I’m not tempted by it at all. That was never the case when I was drinking and if you’d told me I could have alcohol around me and not be tempted in the least, I’d probably think you were nuts! But it’s true!
Try to read self improvement articles and make some good plans for the future. You’re going to have a lot of extra money, think about the things you can spend it on.
I think I’ve given you a good foundation to build on. Please feel free to contact me if you’d like any further advice.
Here’s to a life without alcohol!
