Someone getting older in your life? Help ease the transition to hot flashes by playing a joke on them for their birthday. The following are some suggestions that I or someone I know has done to someone hitting the big 3-0, 4-0, 5-0, and beyond.
CELEBRATE A YEAR EARLY
Since the dread for most people approaching milestone birthdays starts a year or two out, why not help them celebrate a year early. On the birthday before the milestone, send them cards, presents, and/or hold a party for the milestone birthday. You’d be surprised how much of a rise you can get out of a person by sending them a “Happy 40th Birthday” card on their 39th birthday. If you give them a box full of 40th birthday gifts to go with it, imagine how much happier they will be. (Note: I do not recommend that husbands try this with their wife unless they have a comfortable couch.)
EMULATE THE ROLLING STONES: SEND DEAD FLOWERS
Most florists will be willing to accomodate your request to send black or dead flowers on that special occasion. For maximum impact, have them delivered to work, especially if they work in a big office building. Imagine their surprise when they hear they have a delivery on that special day and they are greeted by a vase full of wilted, ugly flowers.
GIVE THEM OLD AGE GIFTS
Lovingly wrap a series of gifts that will help hem adjust to their advancing years. I suggest Depends, a pill bottle of blue Sweettarts marked Viagra (make sure it’s a guy!), a pair of the ugliest and biggest sunglasses you can find (bonus points if the shaded portion extends to the side of the frames, a lawn sign that says “Get off my lawn!”, and the DVD boxed sets of Matlock and Murder She Wrote.
LITTER THEIR LAWN WITH DINOSAURS
My wife woke me up at 7 AM one Sunday yelling at me. When I asked why, she pointed me to our front lawn, where 20 plastic dinosaurs and a sign saying, “The Old Fossil’s 40” had been placed in our yard. I had nothing to do with it, but I wish I had. The local company that performs this service has buzzards, cows, sheep, dinosaurs, flamingos and other lawn ornaments they’ll place for a day.
IGNORE THEIR BIRTHDAY
This one is fun, especially if you can find a way to end the day with a party they aren’t expecting.
SEND A TRICK GIFT
In this one, you need to mail your victim the gift. Number your gifts and attach a note that says that the recipient needs to unwrap all the gifts in order and when they get to the last one, the gift will make sense. Make all gifts unrelated. Inside your last gift, put a note that says, “Open the next and final gift and it will all come together.” Be sure to not answer your phone when they call you asking what happened to the last gift.
FAKE SCAVENGER HUNT
A variation of the above, place a series of clues to their big gift. On the last clue, refer them back to the spot in which they began or to someplace that doesn’t exist. You should plan to stay out of your friend’s way for twice as long as it took for them to trace all the clues.
