While I have never been a perpetrator of road rage, I cannot say I have never been tempted. There are drivers, and I use the term loosely, that get on my last working nerve. I present to you, in no particular order, my list of driving pet peeves.
The Multitasker – The Multitasker is one who feels compelled to save time by conducting a morning conference call on their cell phone, shuffling papers in the passenger seat while chowing down on an egg mcmuffin and coffee and driving with their elbows. This does not mean you are talented; it means you are a putz.
The Challenger – This is the person who, as you go to pass them on the interstate, decides to speed up to challenge your pass, forcing you to either back off and accept defeat, or go faster, leaving you prey to the cop hiding under the overpass up ahead.
The Primper – The Primper is usually a woman, but some men are guilty too. At some point in their life, The Primper is astounded when they realize that the makeup mirror conveniently located in the middle of their windshield will also enable them to see the objects behind them. The Primper is also annoying while using their sun visor mirror at a red light, and primping with such concentration that they fail to see that the light has turned green…twice.
The Tailgater – This is the person who insists on riding as close to the back bumper of your car as possible. They will also appear to have their high beams on while tailgating at night, forcing you to adjust every mirror in your car so the light does not shine directly in your eyes. I’m always tempted to slam on my brakes, but with my luck, or lack of, it would end up being a police officer behind me.
The Follower – Similar to The Tailgater, The Follower is one who will follow your lead no matter where you go or what speed you’re getting there. If you speed up, they speed up; if you slow down, they slow down; if you go into a ditch; they will land right on top of you. You’ll find many followers in inclement weather, especially fog.
The Flasher – The Flasher is not what you might initially think. The Flasher is the one who, while driving at night, believes erroneously that you have your high beams on so they do their civic duty by flashing their lights at you. The problem is that you didn’t have your high beams on and they waited until they were at just the right distance to flash their high beams to momentarily blind you.
The Picker – For reasons known only to the The Picker, they appear to believe they are invisible in their car and no one can see in, so they use this “private” time to pick their nose. The reason this made my list of pet peeves is because it’s disgusting and I really don’t want to see it. Since I have children, I will see enough disgusting things in my life without adding this to my visual memory. The Picker will also, in all probability, turn into The Primper while checking to see if they left a hanger.
The Wanderer – This is the person who has no where they really need to be and no particular time they have to be there. They insist on driving at least ten miles per hour under any given speed limit, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they have traffic backed up for miles. If you’re not in that big of a hurry, then please consider walking to your imaginary destination.
So there you have it. I’m sure there are many drivers who share these same pet peeves. If you are guilty of these transgressions, you might consider mending your wicked ways. Drivers everywhere will thank you.
