Whereas blondes are characterized as dumb and redheads as fiery, brunettes, the Plain Jane sisterhood, are often thought of as the ordinary.
They get, therefore, less attention in the humor universe. Still, jokes abound for those who seek them out. Here is a selection of such brunette jokes from my 30 year collection of humor. Hope you enjoy.
The head waiter brings the bill and the brunette is horrified to see the total: $150! She didn’t expect this at all and asks the waiter, “Would you mind holding my breasts while I write the check please?”
The head waiter is taken aback. In all his years in the job he’s never been asked that before, but always eager to please the customer, he obliges.
The brunette gets up to leave and the waiter is still perplexed. His curiosity gets the better of him and he catches up with her at the door, “I’m sorry to bother you Miss, but I’d like to know why you asked me to do that just now.”
“Oh it’s quite simple, really,” she replies. “I love to have my breasts held when I’m being screwed.”
Seeking to embarrass the new faculty member comely young brunette scholar, the old boy network set up a prank. There was a monthly faculty dinner and each month one of the faculty members had to give a presentation on a pre-selected topic. The Dean, in on the gag, informed the brunette that this task always fell to a new faculty member when possible and that this month was therefore her turn. He also told her the topic for the month was sex.
The night of the dinner the brunette was introduced.
She stood up and said, “Gentlemen it gives me great pleasure.” and sat back down.
A brunette went to her doctor for a check-up. when asked how she got the bruises on the outside of her thighs, she explained that she got them from having sex. The doctor then told her she would have to change positions until the bruises healed.
The brunette replied “Oh doctor, I can’t… my dog’s breath is awful!
This guy was having a drink in a bar. It didn’t escape his notice that the bartender was a very sexy brunette. She came over to chat for a bit and he said, “I bet I can keep an eye on this drink while I go to the bathroom,” as he lay a $10 bill on the bar. She knew the bathroom was around the corner and accepted his bet. He removed his glass eye and took off to the john.
“Very funny,” the brunette said when he returned.
He smiled and said, “Ok, look, let’s try another one.” Again, a $10 bill goes down on the table. “I’ll bet you I can bite my own ear.”
She matches the $10 and watches unbelievingly as the guy removes his false teeth and clamps them down on his ear.
He grins and said, “All right, one more bet. A chance to win your money back. I bet I can make love to you so tenderly that you won’t feel a thing.”
Thinking this was something she knew about, the brunette took him by the hand out back behind the bar and lifted her skirt. They went to town. A few moments later she giggled, “I can feel you.”
He kept on pumping and said, “Well, win some, lose some!”
A brunette and her boyfriend are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll the guy’s lustful desire rises to a peek. He is just about to get frisky when the brunette says, “I hope you don’t mind but I really do need to pee.”
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity he replies, “OK. Why don’t you go behind this hedge.”
She nods agreement and disappears behind the hedge. As he waits he can hear the sound of nylon knickers rolling down her voluptuous legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches a hand through the hedge and touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly and with great astonishment finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs.
He shouts in horror, “My God, Mary… have you changed your sex?”
“No,” the brunette replies. “I’ve changed my mind. I’m having a dump instead.”
