The human race loves to partake in grand debates. My team versus your team; Godfather I versus Godfather II; New York pizza versus Chicago pizza. However, in our time, perhaps the greatest debate of all is which animated, prime time comedy show reigns supreme. Family Guy, led by the imposing trio of Peter Griffin, Stewie Griffin and Brian Griffin or The Simpsons with their formidable strong front pair of Homer and Bart Simpson? With so many similarities between the shows, the only way to properly discuss this matter is with a character by character, situation by situation breakdown.
Round 1:The Dads – Peter Griffin vs. Homer Simpson
Both of these characters are stalwarts of their respective shows and despite not always being the “lead” character, they are always there to provide a hilarious moment. Peter and Homer share many characteristics including most notably being fat, dumb, alcoholic and as mentioned, hilarious. The similarities here and the strengths of these characters are too closely tied to each other to make a clear judgment. Result: Tie
Round 2:The Sons – Chris Griffin vs. Bart Simpson
Chris Griffin takes after his father in the fact that he is also quite large and also quite dumb. A major drawback to Chris is a semi-annoying and whiny voice and very few of the shows have a storyline based on him. Bart, on the other hand, is the clear star of The Simpsons. From his early days and catchphrases such as “eat my shorts” to his constant misbehaving, when the show isn’t revolving around Homer, it’s revolving around Bart. When it’s not revolving around either, the show greatly suffers. Bart wins in a land slide. Result: The Simpsons
Round 3:The Moms – Lois Griffin vs. Marge Simpson
Marge Simpson is a nagger. She constantly complains and rarely has a good time. While she gets credit for largely sticking by her man, she also offers little to no funny lines or situations to the show. Lois also complains, but gets in on the fun a whole lot more. She is also depicted as being very sexually open with a voracious sexual appetite to boot. Her interactions with Stewie always provide hilarity. Lois’s more engaging personality and more intricate role in the show lead to her victory. Result: Family Guy
Round 4:The Daughters – Meg Griffin vs. Lisa Simpson
Lisa and Meg are both depicted as very nerdy and very unpopular. One of the key differences here is that Lisa often takes the role of common sense and intelligence and in the process offers hardly any comic input – Yes, I get it, the little daughter is the smart one with the moral conscience, ha ha – while the Griffin family constantly derides and insults Meg. While little Meg does is actually funny, her family hating her creates numerous hilarious situations. Therefore, Meg pulls out a narrow victory, by default as much as anything else. Result: Family Guy
Round 5:The Babies – Stewie Griffin vs. Maggie Simpson
Oh, Maggie, you don’t have a shot here do you? Whereas Maggie never talks, Stewie is the main character of Family Guy. He constantly tries to kill or maim his mother, Lois, and has plans for world domination. He is super intelligent but still is a baby and can therefore be easily distracted and has interactions with his stuffed animal. His accent is also great and there is of course the issue of whether or not his family can actually hear what he says. Maggie needs to forfeit before she gets hurt here. Result: Family Guy
Round 6:Family Dogs – Brian Griffin vs. Santa’s Little Helper
Santa’s Little Helper is the Simpson family dog, taken in from the racetrack and very lovable despite his occasional trouble causing. Several shows have been based on him, including where he tries to get trained and when he falls in love with another dog. He chews on things and strives for attention, and therefore, is actually quite like my actual dog. That’s all great, but… Brian just might be my hero. He talks, he is smart and sophisticated and he enjoys more than his fair share of sweet libations. He is also very sarcastic and has had many a solo adventure as well as shows based upon him and Stewie interacting. Brian is my favorite character on the show, and while I’d love to sit down and give Santa’s Little Helper a nice scratch behind the ears, for my comedy entertainment I’ll take Brian. Result: Family Guy
Both of these shows have tremendous, laugh out loud side characters. Highlights from Family Guy include Mayor Adam West, voiced by the real Adam West, the evil monkey living in Chris’s closet, Death and pervert-extraordinaire Quagmire. The Simpsons list includes Comic Book Guy, Cletus (The Slack Jawed Yokel), Officer Wiggum, Barney, Moe, Mr. Burns and oh so many more. Although both provide great additions to the show, the sheer vast quantity of side characters in The Simpsons leads the show to a win. Result: The Simpsons
Round 8:Shows Within The Shows
One of the funniest moments in Family Guy history is the show, “Gumbel To Gumbel” depicting the sportscaster and reporter brothers as a tag team pair of beach cops in a show a la Baywatch. The news team of Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons are also quite humorous with the former usually drunk and the latter usually being accused of sexual deviance of some sort. The Simpsons shows within the shows are much more developed and prevalent throughout the series. Clips of “Itchy and Scratchy”, the ultra violent cat and mouse combo have been consistently seen since the beginning of the show; and of course Krusty has a recurring and important role. Kent Brockman is the news team counterpart, and while he suffers in comparison to Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons, the battle is already won here. Result: The Simpsons
In the head to head competition, Family Guy edges The Simpsons with a slim margin of victory: 4-3 with one tie. Homer, Bart and the extras carry the show; however the rest of the family is just not funny enough. There are several more factors to be considered before a final judgment can be made however. The Simpsons came first and is often looked at as the basis for Family Guy, and also must get credit for their longevity. That being said, the show suffered a long, multi-year, insufferable and largely unwatchable drought. While it’s great to be around for near twenty years, if a chunk of those years just drags on and ruins the solid reputation of the show, what is the point? Family Guy’s humor is also much edgier, as well as more controversial (remember when Bart and Homer were thought to be too controversial? Times have changed…) and topical.
All things considered, Family Guy is the funnier, more complete and overall better show. Thank you, Simpson family, for paving that path (and finally cashing in about 10 years late on their movie). However, your time in the spotlight is coming to an end, and the very child you helped to influence and create has overtaken you, just as in any true, great student-mentor relationship. May you bless us with many more hilarious episodes and seasons for years to come, Family Guy. Giggity giggity goo…
