COMMENTARY | You know the term “There ought to be a law”? Sometimes there already is. Mostly, there are just too many laws, and a lot of them are downright ridiculous. This article documents some examples from Youngstown, Ohio.
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Many listings of silly laws and ordinances greatly exaggerate the provisions of the law. For example, Youngstown City Ordinances make it illegal to “operate a taxicab on any street or highway unless all factory-equipped occupant restraining devices in the taxicab are maintained in usable form.” A website dedicated to Dumb Laws interpreted this as “Riding on the roof of a taxi cab is not allowed.” Though technically true, it’s quite a stretch.
These examples, however, do not rely on such embellishment.
Youngstown city ordinance makes it illegal to paint a duck or to sell a dyed bunny in the city. It also makes it illegal to sell less than six chicks younger than 4 weeks old.
The city sets regulations regarding the method of keeping chicks for sale in retail outlets, but it is illegal to own the same poultry in the city.
You may own fish in the city as long as they are confined to water.
It is also illegal to allow registered pigeons to fly in the city or to race pigeons suitable for use in wartime. You also may not feed pigeons in public.
It is unlawful to feed your horse in the street in Youngstown.
Running out of gas downtown more than once could get you up to 60 days in jail.
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A 1998 city ordinance created the Shade Tree Commission, which has power to regulate and investigate trees.
No one may make “any noise on any street” outside of a church, school, or court.
No one may be annoying in the presence of two or more people while intoxicated.
A whole chapter of the city ordinances is dedicated to bench ownership and licensing.
A person convicted of gambling in the last 12 months is prohibited from obtaining a license to haul things.
One may not sell their house without a permit, and no person may sell more than five houses in a year.
It is illegal to sell a house before 10 a.m.
A separate license is required to conduct a “going out of business” sale.
No store conducting a “going out of business” sale may extend their hours of operation without the permission of the mayor.
A minor may not enter any premises to play games such as pinball or the claw game between 9 in the morning and 11 p.m. without a parent.
No person may perform in an indecent operetta.
Scalping of theater tickets is unlawful, unless they are for a school play.
Holding a public dance before 3 p.m. is prohibited.
It is illegal for a door-to-door salesman to operate after 5 p.m.
A pawnbroker may not accept mechanics’ tools if they have the owner’s initials on them.
A scrapyard is prohibited from doing business with an alcoholic.
No person may sell anything of value from the same alley for more than three consecutive days.
There is a plethora of poorly worded or just plain goofy laws on the books all over the country. Conway Greene provides a database of city ordinances from throughout Ohio. Many localities also provide their ordinances on their websites. Check your town for dumb laws and share what you find with us.
John Hull is a lifelong resident of the Mahoning Valley of Ohio, a political commentator in various mediums, and a former Youngstown police officer.
