Dealing with ADHD/ODD. For those of you that don’t know what those stand for, ADHD means Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder and ODD means Oppositional Defiance Disorder. These two things are something that I deal with everyday with my 10 year old son.
With this article, I am going to explain what it’s like to live with these disorders. Tony takes 54mg of Concerta and for this to be effective for him; I wake up at 6:00 am Monday thru Friday to give him his medicine. The reason that I do this is for Tony to be able to function in the morning, by giving him his medicine while he is still sleeping; it allows time for the medicine to ‘kick’ in. It takes about 45 min to an hour for this medicine to start being absorbed into his blood stream, once it is time for Tony to get up at 6:45 and start getting ready for school, he is able to get up, get dressed, eat his breakfast with minimal issues, without the medicine or without it having a chance to be absorbed into his blood stream, it’s a battle, and I don’t mean it’s some little battle, it’s a horrid battle, one with lots of screaming and yelling and just plain ole knock down drag out fights. Tony heads off for school at 7:45 and gets out at 2:55 pm. Once home, Tony sits down and starts on his homework right away, his Concerta really only gives about 10 hours of support to him. We finish homework in a slow as snail pace, you see something that takes a ‘normal’ disorder free child takes Tony double if not longer to complete, most nights Tony works for 2 hours on his homework and with his teacher’s approval, I have the choice to shorten his assignments as I feel fit.
After his homework, he then moves on to chores and other odds and ends around the house, but this time it’s about 6 pm and Tony is out of meds in his system, the night now turns into battle royal. I know that this made sound harsh to some, but it’s the God awful truth, most nights dinner time turns into a 3 ring circus at my house, between the 4 year old and Tony, food seems to always land on the floor, or something is spilled, food is being spewed all over the place. Yes I do understand that boys will be boys, but this is way beyond that. Tony tends to take things too far when he is off his meds. He tends to argue more with me and his father argue to the point that you want to rip out your hair, want to smack him upside the head, to make him understand that it’s enough. Most nights, the two boys decide to turn my living room into Monday Night Raw, they fight, wrestle, throw things, beat the living daylights out of each other, something that I have grown used to, something though that I wish wouldn’t have to happen every night. After the kids have their fun, I spend app. 30 to 45 min trying to get Tony get ready for bed.
We battle about simple things like changing our underwear, we argue about him brushing his teeth and taking a shower, it’s not a matter of he doesn’t think he needs to, it’s a matter of fact that he just sees an opportunity to fight and argue with me about something-that is the ODD disorder in him. There isn’t a drug that can help with this, the only way to deal and handle this is to hold your ground, pick your battles as our therapist tells us to. He tells us to make sure when a battle ensues to make sure that you are going to be able to hold your ground, if you know or think that you are not going to be able to do this, then give in right away, because if you spend 10 or 20 or even 60 minutes in a battle over something and then in the end you give in, that teaches him that he can keep doing this and will ALWAYS get what he wants in life. Most nights Tony tries to pick battles over his snack, he knows that his snack is to be something nutritious, not something sugary, most nights Tony expects a battle over his snack, but this is one battle that I hold my ground on and I ALWAYS win.
When it’s time for Tony to head up to bed, he tries the TV. Route, but that too is one battle that I always win too *only on school nights is he not allowed TV. and he knows this* he is allowed to read at bed time and that is it. Usually about 10 pm Tony is sound asleep and he sleeps the whole night until we must start all over again the next day.
For me living with a child with ADHD/ODD it’s not a walk in the park, little did I know that when my precious son was born, that my patience and sanity would be tried as much as it is with him. I love my son with all my heart and I always will, but there are days, when I wonder why, why me, why my son? I don’t expect any less than Tony if he didn’t have the disorders, in fact, I think that I expect more out of him then most parents would. I know that he is not a stupid or slow child, he is just a wonderful child that has a little disadvantage then some kids do. My son will always be my pride and joy and for this I thank God for giving him to me. I will never let my son’s disorder be a crutch in his life though either. I will always push him to be the best that he can be. Thanks for taking the time to read about my life with ADHD/ODD.
Reference:
- www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/symptom.htm ; you can check symptoms on this site to help in searching for adhd. www.concerta.net/ ; This is the webiste for the medication that my son takes for his ADHD.
