About two weeks ago, my husband was asked by a somewhat close friend if he would be the godfather to an upcoming newborn. The question came as a shock. My husband said that he would think about it. Later he decided that the answer would have to be “no”. Not for reasons of just saying “no” but for several reasons involving our own children. Currently, we have between us six children. Three boys and three girls; ages ranging from 8 to 11 months. We are working to get our lives more in order by getting rid of debt, getting a new used car, and hoping to get a bigger apartment. These things aren’t to be taken lightly. Also, with that one of our children is disabled and that we both want to work, finding sitters is not an easy task. Also, I primarily take care of the kids. It isn’t that my husband doesn’t want to but that it is upon a somewhat unsaid agreement being that my husband does have a tendency to get upset a bit easily.
One other thought that came to mind was, if something were to happen to my husband and me, I have a set of godparents already picked out. They have had no children but are very good with them. They have good jobs and a nice apartment. To take on someone else’s child and then, in a very slim chance, have to have that child passed on to other people who don’t know the child or their parents, is too much to ask. Many responsibilities go into being a godparent. It isn’t just for the Catholics or other religions anymore. Anyone can become a Godparent. The choice isn’t one to be made rashly. This isn’t the movies where some main character inherits a child with out their knowledge. Sure, it makes for an interesting story, but it can’t be reality all of the time.
Some things to keep in mind about either becoming or deciding on a Godparent:
Education: Being able to provide suitable education for an additional child. Special education children can cost more and then you need to consider any child who may be exceptional. Plus, did the parent want the best education or just average?
Role Model: Setting a good example to the child and guide them in life to become a better person. Keeping yourself in line is a big must for being a good role model.
Providing Food: Especially if the child is on a restricted diet as directed by physician. Lots of cooking and buying.
Providing Shelter: Having a home for the child to live in and come home to. With either their own room or a shared room if with other children. More cleaning and chores to keep in check.
Transportation: Are you able to get the child to and from point A and point B? Keeping up with maintenance is added in.
Clothing: You can’t let them run around with unfit clothes. Plus, you have to wash more than usual. Unless, you are very good at saving money buy making and self washing clothes.
Money: Children are not cheap. You can figure some of this out with a calculator from http://www.babycenter.com/cost-of-raising-child-calculator I calculated for all my children: $1,274,568 with this tool. I figure that this does not include the costs of a disabled child. The calculations did include public and not private college. But then you look at the calculator provided by the USDA and they give you the options of the children’s current ages and then breaks everything done. Again, the costs of a disabled child were not included. My result was $43,376/year. By the time my son is eleven I will have spent $477,136. So this proves that the costs of raising children varies. Still, based on circumstances, children are not cheap. Adding another to the mic is a big decision. Unless it is the first child being given to a Godparent who would have to take financial matters into consideration. Work would be a good idea before taking on this venture.
So, to the person who wants to hand over their child to us, I hate to tell you this, but we must respectfully decline. As for the rest of you whose mind may be on this matter, go over the decision carefully. Because it is not just money that is an issue, other issues such as capability of raising a child are big factors to consider. I do know of a few other reasons why we should be considered. For one, six kids plus one that isn’t mine, I am likely to go silly.
