Located in the Little Five Points district of Midtown, Vortex is well-known to the local crowd as much for its political incorrectness as for its gastronomic delights. The trademarked laughing skull, which reminds me of the cartoonish graphics of Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo, welcomes you to the eatery. It is only a mild forewarning of the sassy servers and irreverent attitude found inside; but, if smart-aleck comments don’t deter you, you’re sure to enjoy one of the best hamburgers on the planet at the Vortex.
Recently, Whoopi Goldberg mentioned on The View that someone had actually dislocated their jaw trying to eat a sandwich (she didn’t mention where). I might not have bought the story had I not been familiar with the massive sandwiches served up by the Vortex.
Take, for instance, the Coronary Bypass Burger($8.75):
A half-pound of ground sirloin comes adorned with a fried egg, three slices of American cheese, and four strips of bacon. Lettuce, tomato, and red onion complete the offering, so it is not totally devoid of anything healthy. If this doesn’t satisfy your appetite, it comes with a side of tater tots, fries, potato salad, cole slaw, or chips.
Still not enough? Go for the Double Bypass Burger ($14.95):
Instead of a bun, this pound of sirloin, now topped with two fried eggs, six slices of American cheese, and eight strips of bacon, is served between two grilled cheese sandwiches.
A local favorite, according to a reader’s poll conducted by the Atlanta Journal Constitution: the Elvis Burger ($8.25). A sirloin patty topped with creamy peanut butter, bacon, and bananas fried until they caramelize, served with a side.
Not a beef buff? For an additional charge, the Vortex will substitute a chicken breast or a veggie, turkey, or bison patty for the sirloin.
Smoking is allowed at the Vortex. As a result, you must be at least 18 years old to enter in order to comply with the Georgia Smoke Free Air Act of 2005.
Make no mistake, this is a 21 and over bar. It’s dark, noisy, and people get drunk. Still, Smith’s has some of the best burgers I have ever tasted.
Smith’s houses two well-known music venues. While waiting for my friends, Soul Sister Sally, to play there a couple of times last year, I had the good fortune to discover Smith’s food.
One of my favorites is the Patty Melt ($11.95). The well-sautéed strips of onion drizzle out from between the melted Swiss and superbly toasted bread slices. I like my patty cooked well, and Smith’s always fires it up to perfection – brown all the way through without a hint of dryness.
My friend Kelly Williams, lead singer for the band, doesn’t eat beef, but she raves about Smith’s turkey burger. They serve up a couple different varieties, but her favorite is The Saint ($10.95). It’s a turkey burger version of the patty melt with a fried egg atop the patty. Heinz 57 is served on the side for dipping.
If we’re planning on eating after the show, and I’m just looking for something to tied me over, nothing beats Smith’s Basket of Burgers ($8.95). With or without cheese, a half-dozen well-done gems (slightly larger than a White Castle or Krystal’s slider, and with much more meat) come dressed with mustard, ketchup, onions, and pickles. As an appetizer, it’s more than enough to share between two or three persons.
Ted’s Montana Grill Nine Locations Throughout the Atlanta Metro Area
www.tedsmontanagrill.com
The restaurant, partially owned by Atlanta media mogul Ted Turner, may bear his name and sport nine metro Atlanta locations, but the chain actually originated in Columbus, Ohio.
Enter these replicated bastions of the old frontier, and you’re instantly transported from the Deep South to the turn of the century Wild West.
Mosey up to a dark leather booth and start noshing on the half-sour complimentary pickles the waiter brings while you’re deciding on what to order. I suggest George’s Cadillac, named after the other partner in the chain, LongHorn Steak’s founder George McKerrow, Jr. Your choice of beef ($10) or bison ($12) is topped with bar-b-que sauce, cheese, and bacon and served with a side of fries.
My daughter fancies a good mushroom-Swiss burger, Ted’s Swiss and Mushroom comes with a respectable serving of melted Swiss cheese and sautéed mushrooms topped with a dollop of sour cream for the same prices as the Cadillac.
While I consider Ted’s one of Atlanta’s best burger joints, the chain owns 54 restaurants in 19 states, so odds are there’s a Ted’s Montana Grill close to you. Prices are from the restaurant’s menu at Ted’s Midtown site and may vary at other locations.
All information, unless otherwise noted, is from restaurant websites or personal experience.
