The best and most famous Woody Allen quotes are usually a matter of opinion. Woody Allen is one of the most famous Actors and Filmmakers of the past 50 years. Here are, in my opinion, the best and most famous Woody Allen quotes.
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER ONE As the poet said, ‘Only God can make a tree,’ probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER TWO Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night .
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER THREE Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue .
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER FOUR Eighty percent of success is showing up .
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER FIVE He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER SIX I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER SEVEN I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER EIGHT I am two with nature.
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER NINE I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government .
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER TEN I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER ELEVEN I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying .
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER TWELVE I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER THIRTEEN I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER FOURTEEN I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER FIFTEEN I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said ‘No.’
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER SIXTEEN I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER SEVENTEEN I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own .
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER EIGHTEEN I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch .
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER NINETEEN If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER TWENTY In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER TWENTY ONE Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all .
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER TWENTY TWO My one regret in life is that I am not someone else .
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER TWENTY THREE Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good .
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER TWENTY FOUR Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, ‘Be fruitful and multiply,’ but not in those words.
BEST AND MOST FAMOUS WOODY ALLEN QUOTES NUMBER TWENTY FIVE What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
