“Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!”
We’ve all seen the references to “middle child syndrome” but is there really such a thing? Were you a middle child? Do you have a middle child? Did you feel different from your siblings or do you feel like your middle child feels different?
My daughter is my middle child (for now, anyway- although we have another on the way). Not only is she a middle child but she’s the only girl. My oldest son is 8 and is a typically big brother. They are close in age and for the most part have been like best friends growing up. When my youngest son came along (now one), my daughter didn’t seem to have any problem with no longer being the baby. She took a big sister role right away and in fact, tried to be a little mom herself. But as time went on, we did see a bit of “middle child syndrome” sneaking in from time to time.
Common signs of Middle Child Syndrome are feeling left out, feeling like “nobody loves me” or that the parents give more attention to the oldest and the baby of the family. Often the parents will place fewer demands on the second and third child so the middle child often grows up with a more relaxes view on life although they may feel like they have to complete with the oldest child for attention.
Also when parents have a third child, it means the parenting style must change. There is no longer one parent per child and there may be less one-on-one parenting. This can lead to jealousy, behavior problems and sibling rivalry.
There are many things a parent can do to help ease the transition from only two children to three and to make your middle child feel like less of an outsider. Remember that the negative stereotypes associated with birth order do not have to affect your family. Be aware of them so you can be on your toes and keep your middle child from feeling left out.
Here are some things you can try to help all of your children feel comfortable in who they are within the family:
1. Never compare your children to one another.
2. Treat each accomplishment individually and be sure to give proper attention to each.
3. Give your children a chance to try different things individually to find their own unique talents.
4. Make one-on-one time for each child.
5. Never tell one child that he is better or more talented than another.
6. Show equality among the children- make the rules the same and the expectations the same.
7. Show as much love as possible to all of your children.
8. Celebrate Middle Child Day.
Use this day as an opportunity to tell your middle child how much you love them and appreciate them and then continue to show her on a daily basis.
This is just one of many bizarre August holidays. August 6th is Wiggle Your Toes Day and August 8th is Sneak Some Zucchini onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night. The fun doesn’t stop there though, because the month of August is packed full of fun and interesting holidays that I will be featuring here on AC to bring more attention to these often unnoticed and overlooked holidays.
* August is also:
* National Catfish Month
* National Golf Month
* National Eye Exam Month
* National Water Quality Month
* Romance Awareness Month
* Peach Month
* Foot Health Month
