For families like ours that grow through adoption, the finalization of an adoption is truly worthy of a celebration. Adoption celebrations can take on many forms but there are some important issues to consider that can help to guide the planning process. For families like ours that grow through adoption, thefinalization of an adoption is truly worthy of a celebration. Adoptioncelebrations can take on many forms but there are some important issues toconsider that can help to guide the planning process.
For a child who is “coming home” over the age of one, resist the anxiousness to celebrate with a large group right away and allow the child time to comfortably become part of the family. Children should have a chance to slowly meet family and friends one on one before a big celebration. It will feel more like a celebration if more familiar faces and few strangers surround them.
As with any party for involving children, keep in mind their normal eating and napping schedules and make the celebration fit around their schedule, not the other way around. A hungry child waiting for everyone to arrive to eat, or one who misses a nap may not spread sunshine at be the party.
For a school aged child, allow the child to help plan the party. If they are involved in making invitations, picking out a menu and decorations, they will truly feel the party is being done “for” them and not “to” them. Spend time with photo albums and share stories about the people you hope to celebrate with so they will have a sense of why these people are important to you.
Keeping these tips in mind, an adoption celebration can have a variety of formats.
A BABY SHOWER:
When my daughter was five weeks old, and her adoption was finalized, my friends threw us a baby shower to celebrate her adoption. Complete with a cook out, cake and pink decorations, our friends showered us with gifts for our new baby girl.
Many adoptive families do not get to have baby showers ahead of time because there is often little notice before the birth and we are all reluctant to have such celebrations before the adoption is finalized. While we generally think of a shower as a “baby shower,” it can be appropriate for families adopting toddlers or older children as well with an appropriate theme.
Making it Special:
We took photos of each couple holding our daughter and framed them in a collage along with the invitation as a permanent reminder of the thoughtfulness of our friends.
Although our son “came home,” at two months, his adoption was not finalized for two years. We chose to host an “open house” celebration that would allow us to include more family and friends but would allow them to come at different times so we could visit more with each of them. We chose a Sunday afternoon from 1-4 p.m. and served hors devours and desserts buffet style. Although we hosted the party ourselves, much of our family called and asked if they could bring something. The food they shared was a great help to us and we know that they really wanted to contribute to our celebration. We set out albums on the table of our son from his arrival to present and arranged toys in the living room to simply let youngsters play.
I put out a pretty journal book and pen and stood up a note asking our guests to write a letter to our son to let him know just how happy each of us was to celebrate this day. This journal is priceless to me and will be treasured. Only two years old at his party, this journal will help our son when he is older to feel all of the joy we felt about his adoption.
Before the Party Tips:
For any celebration, put balloons and/or a sign on your mailbox or gate to help guests easily find your home.
Don’t forget to have your camera and/or dvd recorder ready with plenty of batteries to capture the joyous moments of your celebration.
After the Party Tips:
After a party, don’t forget to send thank you notes to guests who brought gifts or food. A child’s handprints on a card, regardless of their age, is always precious and including a photo of the guest with your child or of the child enjoying their gift is an extra special touch.
After your adoption celebration, organize the invitation, cards and photos into a scrapbook for your child to forever be able to see the joy of your family’s adoption celebration.
