You’re welcome, David Stern.
Since you and the NBA owners are having such a hard time winning public sympathy to your cause after locking out the players, I will do the PR job for you. Face it, you and the owners are less popular than the Casey Anthony jury. You claim NBA teams are losing money because player salaries are too high. Players, understandably, are not looking to give any of their salaries back to their billionaire employers. These opposing points of view will ensure the lockout will get uglier and last longer than a Mexican Hairless cat that sleeps in an oxygen chamber.
Mr. Stern, it is unlikely you will sway public opinion to support your wealthy, tax-subsidy seeking owners, so you need to instead focus on portraying the players as greedy, entitled, and grossly overpaid. You can do this by comparing player salaries to those of a group of people who are routinely vilified – Fortune 500 CEO’s who run “big oil” companies, inhumane health care firms, greedy financial service organizations, and manufacturers who strip mined the planet Avatar was filmed on.
So here’s what you do: Compare the 2010 pay for groups of Fortune 500 CEO’s with the salaries of below-average NBA players. Player compensation reflects their NBA contracts only (excludes endorsements), while CEO pay includes salary plus the value of company stock they own. The salary comparisons will undoubtedly help your PR. After all, would the average person prefer the lifestyle of an NBA player or a CEO? Easy call. Players stumble through shoot-arounds then go back to the Ritz Carlton to take a nap and play X-Box for nine hours. CEO’s host 3:00 a.m. quarterly earning conference calls from Hong Kong while downing blood pressure medication and heartburn pills like they were Mike & Ike’s. Just look:
$12.0-$15.9 Million
Players: Richard Jefferson (SAN, $14.2), Larry Hughes (SAC, $13.6), Peja Stojakovic (NOH, $13.4), Brad Miller (CHI, $12.2), Erick Dampier (DAL, $12.1).
CEOs: Brian Moynihan (Bank of America, $15.4), Andrew Liveris (Dow Chemical, $14.1), Robert Eckert (Mattel, $12.8), Richard Davis (US Bancorp, $12.4), and George Barrett (Cardinal Health, $12.3).
$9.0.-$11.9 Million
Players: Bobby Simmons (NJN, $10.6), Eddy Curry ($10.5), Ben Wallace (PHO, $10.0), Cuttino Mobley ($9.5), and Darius Miles (POR, $9).
CEO’s: Peter Darbee (Pacific Gas &Electric;, $11.7), John Watson (Chevron, $11.7), Vikram Pandit (Citigroup, $11.6), George Buckley (3M, $10.5), and James Wells (SunTrust Bank, $9.4).
$5.0-$8.9 Million
Players: Kenny Thomas (SAC, $8.8), Mark Blount (MIN, $8.0), Etan Thomas (OKC, $7.4), Brian Cardinal (NYK, $6.8), Dan Gadzuric (GSW, $6.7), Jason Kapono (PHI, $6.2), DeSanga Diop (CHA, $6.0), Adam Morrison (LAL, $5.3).
CEO’s: David Cordani (Cigna, $8.9), Robert Henrickson (MetLife, $8.9), David Wood (Murphy Oil, $7.8), Mark Ketchum (Newell Rubbermaid, $7.2), Donnie Smith (Tyson Foods, $5.2).
Below $5.0 Million
Players: Matt Carroll (DAL, $4.7), Marcus Banks (TOR, $4.6), Darius Songalia ($4.5), Hasheem Thabeet (MEM, $4.5), Trenton Hassell (NJN, $4.4).
CEO’s: Scott Donnelly (Textron, $3.7), Larry Zimpleman (Principle Financial, $3.1), Russell Smyth (H&R; Block, $2.5), Lynn Elsenhans (Sunoco Oil, $2.3), Daniel Fulton (Weyerhauser, $1.7).
For the same amount of money, who was more valuable in 2010, Larry Hughes and his 9.0 points and 3.2 rebounds per game, or the guy who runs Mattel and increased their stock value by 27%? Who worked harder last year, Eddy Curry and the 62 total minutes he played the entire season, or the CEO of Chevron? For the same salary, would people rather be Adam Morrison and earn $5 million bucks and a championship ring sitting on the bench in Los Angeles, or would they prefer to be Donnie Smith and be responsible for 115,000 Tyson Foods employees? Plus, NBA players become multi-millionaires when they sign their first contract one year removed from high school. Most CEO’s worked their rear ends off for twenty or thirty years before earning their big paydays. The average person understands and even respects that. This is the type of logic that can help you improve public perception and negotiate a better labor deal.
You could also point out that good (not great) players can become incredibly wealthy if they just stick with it long enough. Few people probably know Jermaine O’Neal has earned $153,000,000 in salary alone during his career, or that Juwan Howard has made $150,000,000. Other good, but not great, players in the 100 Million Dollar Club? Elton Brand ($126 million), Zydrunas Ilgauskas ($124), Rashard Lewis ($117), Shawn Marion ($107), Marcus Camby ($107), Mike Bibby ($105), and Michael Redd ($100). Guys like Erick Dampier ($98) and Andrei Kirilenko ($91) are knocking on the club’s door. That big, heavy, solid-gold door with the diamond-studded knocker.
As for my compensation for outlining this game-changing plan for you, Mr. Stern? All I ask for is a reasonable sum in NBA terms. You know, pay me something similar to what an average NBA player like Tayshawn Prince or Richard Hamilton earned in 2010.
They both made over $10 million. You can send that to my PayPal account.
