Whenever something gets a lot of buzz, I get curious. The blockbuster book (and now series) “50 Shades of Grey” was a juggernaut.
You know something is a phenomenon when it’s been parodied and copied to no end. Visit any book store and you’ll see countless covers that look similar, obviously hoping to cash in on one very big cow. Fifty Shades” sold so well that every employee of publisher Random House received a $5,000 bonus, primarily due to sales of E.L. James’ novel and its sequels “50 Shades Darker” and “50 Shades Freed.”
So, it sold a lot, but is it any good? Not really. I found it to be pretty much 50 shades of awful.
It centers around shy college student Anastasia Steele, who is sent by her roommate (who is ill with the flu) to interview enigmatic billionaire Christian Grey for the school paper.
Anastasia is attracted to Grey from the start; he leaves her hot and bothered. No big deal, it’s happened to most of us with a pulse, but I found myself more hot and bothered by the character’s inner voice. Anastasia constantly chides herself or expresses pleasure or amazement: Stay cool, Steele; keep calm; cripes; crap; double-crap; oh my; jeez.
Her subconscious, clearly acting as one of those bitchy devil/angels that hang on cartoon characters’ shoulders, likes to shake her head or pout and glare at the real girl’s thoughts and feelings. Depending on what Anastasia’s doing, her subconscious and inner goddess are either cowering behind some imagination-land couch, punching the air in victory, or calling the girl a “ho.” On top of that, the character is annoying in her inner dialogue.
Actually, it’s not so much an inner dialogue as nonstop nattering. Cut out all the inner goddess and chatty subconscious garbage and the book would easily be 50 pages shorter and a bit more tolerable.
To me, it’s distracting, all the silly self-talk and the conscience following the girl around. E.L. James, just let the action happen. In fiction writing 101 they tell you to show, not tell, and sadly this isn’t happening here.
Eventually the story starts to take root as a kind of cautious emotional back-and-forth between Anastasia and Christian as they flirt and have sex (some of it involving bondage and spanking); she doubts why he’d be attracted to her; and he wants to be the boss of her because it turns him on. She fights him in her ways, and they grow closer, until … . Well, I won’t say if the book ends in happy afterglow or a sad breakup, but we know there are more to the pair since two more books follow.
It doesn’t feel like a real story, to me, though. Even the fantasy genre (as in fairies and witches) is more believable because it’s a more realistic universe within its own framework of rules — when it’s done well, anyway.
These books read rather silly to me, like a woman putting a girlish daydream into print. Anastasia’s shy. She’s awkward. She’s wooed — and offered a kinky deal along the way — by the young, hot billionaire, who procures clothing, buys her a car (because he deems her old car — which he demands she sell — unsafe), a computer and a BlackBerry (so he can always be in touch with her).
He tries to boss her around, and she both lets him and fights it. They have a lot of sex — she practically orgasms every time they’re together — and yet, with all the sexing and all the drama, it left me cold.
I will admit, the book improved as their relationship developed, and one learns a bit more about the mystery behind Christian (hinting at why he hates to be touched, etc.), but it’s still lacking and, by the last page, very little of it is answered. (That could be argued as good or bad, depending on how pat you like your endings.)
This daydream in paperback may have the requisite formula of a girl and a boy, with a side of heat and drama, but I found I wanted more than this fluff.
