We all want to change something about ourselves. Whether we write them out, post them on Facebook or just daydream about it, the changes we want to make in ourselves are actually goals. The problem comes when we try to get or stay motivated to make these changes. And sometimes, even the changes we are seriously motivated to make seem to hang just out of reach. Does this mean they are only dreams, changes impossible for us to really make? Are they really that far away? Believe you can, you believe you can’t,” Henry Ford is reported to have said, “-either way, you’re right.
The Hidden Questions
What if we are consciously motivated to change and believe we actually can change, but still continue to fail to change in a specific point? Maybe we need to ask ourselves if there are beliefs holding us back that we are not consciously aware of. And if there are, you can identify any negative unconscious beliefs, you can begin to address them, to get rid of them and replace them with other beliefs.
Following is a list of ten questions to ask yourself when your motivation get stuck on a change that just won’t ‘happen’.
1. What could I lose-or what COULD go wrong-if I DID get what I want?
2. What sort of NEGATIVE things would it mean about me if I DID get what I wanted?
3. What is preventing things from changing?
4. What blockages cause things to stay the same old way?
5. What past experiences could be spilling over into my present and future?
6. What is stopping me from getting what I am aiming for?
7. What appears to make it almost impossible for me to get what I want?
8. What seems to always prevent me from reaching my outcomes?
9. Why will things never really change for me? (or, is it true that things NEVER will?)
10. What skill or ability do I think I lack that will prevent me from reaching my outcome?
The Next Step
Look these questions over and pick just ONE that really resonates with you. Answer that ONE question, and you can begin to work out ways to move ahead. You may very well get “unstuck” on that one point, and allow yourself to move on to changes that until now seemed impossible.
Final Questions
There are two final questions to ask yourself:
1) Is this ‘failure’ of mine really about my future goal or is it just about my past experience? That is, am I looking back at ‘history’ or ahead at ‘hope’?
2) It is ALL really hopeless? CAN things change? If they can, ask yourself the questions again.
Look again at the first Henry Ford quote:
“Believe you can, you believe you can’t -either way, you’re right!”
And a final thought:
“Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward.
Henry Ford, Automobile Industrialist (1863 – 1947)
Good Luck!
