Throw Yourself the Classy Wedding of a Lifetime Without Breaking the Bank

I will venture to say that my husband and I have a remarkable love story. Meeting at church when I was around 9, we dated for most of middle and high school, experiencing a love that was uncommon for such a young age. Defying many obstacles, we were finally married on August 19th, 2006. I was 21. He was 23. I worked as a part-time correspondent for a local newspaper, and held a telemarketing job for the summer. He laid tile for his mother’s boyfriend. We were both full time students, yet our wedding was beautiful.

Ask both Dr. Phil and Suze Orman: money is one of the largest sources of stress in a relationship. We were next to broke when we got married, and rightly so, as students are supposed to struggle through financial difficulty so they can teach their children wise habits of conducting themselves financially. We didn’t want our marriage to face the burden of a large, wedding-incurred debt. But we wanted our wedding day to be one we would remember for the rest of our lives. Thanks to some good advice, a great deal of research, and help from the indispensable friends and family we pulled off both goals. The following tips explain how we accomplished this.

1) Decide what is important to you

Wedding books will tell you to do this, but they’ll also ask you to set out a budget sheet. I don’t put much stock in this. To me, these books always represented the two polar opposites. One would assume that spending $500 on a wedding dress was cheap or well within my budget. Another would suggest having the wedding in my living room. Just go through the ceremony and reception with your partner. What have you seen in the weddings you’ve attended that you liked. Make a list of those things that are the most important to you. For example, my husband wanted a DJ and a full meal at the reception. I wanted a long veil that would not cover my face, a classy environment in the reception, and a memorable honeymoon out of state. (We ended up going out of the country!)

2) Make a list of things you can go without

This does not mean you will not consider these expenses. They are simply the first things to go if you find yourself treading financial water. We did this with the Limo. Limo rates were extravagant, $400. This was out of our budget. We finally were able to secure a limo ride for $100 to the place where we would spend our wedding night, but we finally realized we would not be able to afford this. So we cancelled. A friend of the family’s drove us to our destination in his new, decorated car.

4) A Building is a Building

An indoor wedding will be in a building, and unless you are considering being married in Notre Dame, most buildings look the same inside. We got married in our church, the church where we met. Because we were members, we were not charged a fee. This is common. Even if you are not members of a church, odds are your parents, relations, or friends are. Ask them if you can marry in their church. Some churches may have certain rules, which you should investigate beforehand, but most are sympathetic to the young, broke, bride and groom who want a classy wedding.

Similarly, the reception room is just a building as well. We had our reception in a church down the road that could accommodate our number of guests. It was my brother’s preschool as well, a white room with a white floor and white walls. But by adjusting the lighting, using white tablecloths, mirrors, and lit candles in floating water the environment was romantic and classy.

5) Ask for What You Want

I told my friends, bridesmaids, and family members everything I was contriving for the decorations. Simple decorations, like I already mentioned, made the place look so much more classy than elaborate decorations would have. I started early, over a year before we were to get married. I hit the after Christmas sales, getting plastic tumblers, pitchers, and bowls for my table centerpieces half price after a friend told me about a sale. My college roommate knew I was looking for circular mirrors, and she sent her mother to a discount outlet in their home state of Ohio where she was able to get all of my mirrors for under $20. I got yards of tulle at garage sales for cents on the dollar, and even more at Wal-Mart for 79 cents per yard. Instead of spending $40-$100 on an updo and makeup, a friend did my hair and makeup, and it was breathtaking. The food, which would have ben the largest cost, was provided by my mother-in-law’s boyfriend, a former chef at the Drake hotel. We received many complements that night on the subject of food. Though Wal-Mart would have charged $250 for an unattractive and second-rate cake, a friend’s mother baked my cake, which was beautiful, delicious, and came complete with a fountain, for the cost of ingredients and pans, $116. My grandmother knitted the ring bearer’s pillow. Bubbles for the guests to blow instead of birdseed were purchased from the dollar store. Our piano player was a recorded professional, but because he was also a church member who had been playing for my sunday solos since grade school, he volunteered his services as a gift. Our unity candle, guest book, etc. were purchased from Wal-Mart with a gift card I’d received for a bridal shower.

6) The Dress

Simple and Elegant. That’s what I wanted. I did not want my children to be able to tell the date of our wedding simply by studying the fashion. I started with the bridal shops, but I soon found their tent-like dresses worthless, so I hit my familiar shops, resale shops. Here too was a dead end for me, though. Finally, I went to a local shop where many high school girls searched for their prom dresses, and there it was, not even a wedding dress, but perfect. A pearl white dress with spaghetti straps, no adornment, expect a gauzy sash near the shoulders on the back. I tried it on. It was wonderful, $100. I bought it right then. The lesson you can learn from this is, know what you want. Don’t be fooled by fancy designers and salespersons ploys. Once you know what you want, go out and get it. Last, and most importantly, don’t confine yourself to bridal shops. They’ll probably have only the most trendy, and most expensive fashions. You might try on one hundred dresses, but you’ll eventually find what you want, at the price that you want, if you’re willing to employ unorthodox methods of searching.

7) The Shoes

Payless. $30. No one will see your shoes. You’ll wear them once. Payless has trendy heals and flats by Fioni Bridal. They’re all about $30. If you wait for one of their frequent sales, you could get them for $15 like I did.

8) The Veil

In stores and on the internet veils can cost upwards of $100. My veil was sewn by a talented friend, and cost about $8 in fabric and supplies. Odds are, you know someone who sews. It doesn’t hurt to ask, and you can end up with a beautiful, customized, and cost-effective veil.

9) The Attendants

What is rude and what is acceptable when it comes to attendants and what you ask them to do, or what they pay for is always a sticky subject. If you’re like me, you don’t put too much stock in formality. Our attendants were all close friends, so we just told them what we had in mind, and asked if anyone had any concerns. No one did. The bridesmaids paid for their own $80 dresses, found at the same store where I purchased my dress, shoes, and jewelry. They spent about $120 each, and they were happy to contribute that to our happy day. The groomsmen paid for their tux rentals and pocket silks; they paid about $100. Like most Tux shops, with the rental of 4 tuxes, the groom’s was free.

10) The Honeymoon!

With the wedding finally over, you’ll probably be relieved and a little sad, but enjoying your honeymoon does not have to leave you in debt. Even if you want to go somewhere that attracts tourists like Orlando, The Bahamas, or Hawaii, finding an inexpensive vacation is relatively easy if you know where to look. First, always check the promos. Whether its flights or accommodations, keeping an eye on the travel sights, and their promotions could save you a great deal of money. But why pay a discounted price when you can get something for free? Many travel corporations give away vacations, or at least offer them at a severely discounted rate (like $100 for a 3 day Florida vacation) in exchange for your attendance at a “seminar,” or rather a very long commercial. Enduring this is not difficult when you imagine your fantastic honeymoon. Finally, choosing a resort that is all-inclusive, and a smaller airline like Airtran or Southwest will save you money. We ended up going to the Bahamas, scoring a free flight through collecting Wendy’s cups, and staying at an all-inclusive resort we obtained through our travel agent for $500. Also, many companies offer special rates and accommodations for newlyweds, asking about this never hurts.

Your wedding is a once in a lifetime moment, so some extravagance is surely warranted. I had no qualms about buying name brand makeup for my wedding day, an expense I would not normally take. It does not make sense, however, to wrack up so much debt that you can’t enjoy your first few months together. I spent about $3,000 total on my wedding, and I could not have been happier. Hopefully, these steps will allow you to achieve just as much success!