What to Wear to a Pakistani Wedding

For a foreigner, figuring out what to wear to a Pakistan wedding can either be a great delight or a big headache. The first time I went to a wedding in Lahore, I wore the wrong kind of clothes on each and every function! These tips should help you avoid making the same faux pas. Many of the same traditions take place in India, particularly in Muslim weddings. The way people dress in Bollywood films is a pretty good representation of what the upper class would wear to weddings in Pakistan.

The Basics

Pakistani weddings generally take place over three to four days. You have three major functions: mehndi, barat, and walima. These may be preceded by a more intimate function called the mayun, to which only close friends and relatives are invited. You may also attend a mungni, engagement party, or a dolki, dance party, well in advance of the main functions.

While in the West it is only the bride who really gets decked out for her wedding, in Pakistan everyone dresses to impress. Ladies attending a wedding may get their hair done, make-u applied, hands painted and body waxed at the beauty parlor on the day of the event. The closer you are to the family, the more expensive clothing you should wear. Many times immediate family members get new sets of jewelry custom made for each day of the wedding. Most people prefer to wear new sets of clothes for each function as well. You are expected to spend more on making yourself look good than on giving a present to the bride and groom. It is important that the closer you are to the bride or groom, the more expensive and extravagant your clothing should be. If you do not dress appropriately, it will be seen as an insult to the family. You may get away with it if you’re a foreigner, but you will certainly feel out of place if you are not dressed to the hilt.

Ladies in Pakistan match everything, so when shopping for wedding clothes you must make sure to match a purse, shoes, bangles and jewelry to your suit. Taking a swatch of the fabric with you while shopping can help with matching.

Mayun & Mehndi

These two functions may be separate for the bride’s and groom’s side, or they may be combined. Modern couples usually choose to have a joint mehndi. Couples may or may not celebrate the mayun. The colors commonly associated with these functions are bright colors, particularly yellow and bright green. Think 1980’s neon colors. Women and men both generally wear shalwar kameez rather than saris or suits. Many of these parties involve dancing late into the night, so you’ll want to wear something you feel comfortable moving around in. Ladies should choose smaller heels good for dancing. Ladies’ clothing should have some sparkle, but these are the most casual of all the functions. Chundri type scarves are popular for mehndi.

Barat

Barat is the big day. This is usually the day when the nikka, wedding agreement, is signed by the couple in their local mosque. The bride usually wears an exquisite gown called a lehgna bedecked in tiny beads and sparkling stones. Other guests, particularly the ladies, really go all out. For men, a traditional Western suit, here called a “pant-coat”, is usually worn. Men should dress as if attending a wedding in the West.

Women, on the other hand, seem like they’re trying to outdo the bride. Newly married women will actually wear their own exquisite wedding dresses to the function. You’ll wonder how some ladies can stand the weight of their heavy gold jewelry sets or walk in 4″ stiletto heels. It would be appropriate to wear a fancy shalwar kameez, a sari, or gharara. Anything you wear should be tasteful and hand embroidery or stone work. Colors for the barat are not as bright as the mehndi, and the traditional colors for the bride are red and gold. Primary colors and pastels would be particularly good for this function. There won’t be any dancing so it’s not that important to wear comfortable shoes. It’s more important that the shoes look good.

Walima

While the other functions are generally hosted and paid for by the bride’s parents, the last one is hosted by the groom’s parents. It is traditionally a celebration of the consummation of the marriage. At the end of the barat, the bride and the groom go together to the groom’s house. They wake up the next morning not to a honeymoon, but to prepare for another big family function.

Men generally go with Western suits at this function. You can wear the same suit as on the previous day, but choose a different tie to mix it up a bit. Ladies, married ladies in particular, usually prefer to wear saris for this event. Darker or more subdued colors are great for walima. Again, there is no dancing and you’ll spend most of the time just sitting and chatting, so wear whatever shoes match your dress.

Since the wedding takes place over three to four days and goes late into the night, many people end up taking time off from work to attend weddings. If you have to choose only one function to attend, the mehndi is by far the most interesting but the barat is seen as the most important. Have fun and fit in by wearing the right colors and types of clothes on each day.