How to Seek Revenge on Telemarketers

Virtually everyone knows the syndrome. You’re keeping a careful eye on the grilling steaks as your mouth waters in anticipation of that perfect outdoor cooked dinner. Perhaps you’re settled down in front of the boob tube ready to view your favorite program. Maybe you’re absorbed in the final chapter of the novel you’re reading.

Just at that time, the telephone rings.

Who’s calling at this most inopportune time? It’s usually a telemarketer telling you that you just won a trip to Disneyland or asking you to take the time to go over your present carrier’s telephone rates.

You’re not just mad over the interruption. You’re furious, frustrated and you want revenge.

Well, here are some tips on how to get that satisfying revenge. Don’t just hang up the telephone. Try one of these ideas and tips for handling telemarketers.

#1-The three little words are, “Hold On Please.” Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so time consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

When you eventually hear the phone company’s “beep, beep, beep” tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. (Rude begets rude. I’d love to be able to see the telemarketer sitting there waiting for you to return to the conversation. Hee, hee, hee.)

#2-How about this one? Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the end of the line? This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a “real” sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice that no one is there on the other end, is to immediately start hitting your # button, six or seven times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of its system. (Confusion is a good thing.)

#3-Here’s a junk mail revenge idea. When you get “ads” enclosed with your phone or utility bills, return these “ads” with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

More junk mail tips. When you get those “pre-approved” letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to second mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelopes.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 39 cents postage, if and when they receive them back. It costs them nothing if you throw them away. The postage was around 50 cents before the last postal increase and it is charged according to weight. Rip off anything that has your name or address and send it back.

In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it all in these cool little postage-paid return envelopes? Send an ad to your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn’t get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application.

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn’t on anything you send them. You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to keep them guessing.

Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin to get their own junk mail back. They’ll get an idea of what a pain junk mail actually is and they’ll have to pay twice over for the lesson. It will cut into their business profits and also give them fits.

Ah, revenge is so sweet!