How to Transition Toddlers From Co-Sleeping to Beds of Their Own

The transition from co-sleeping to toddler bed doesn’t have to be a struggle, especially if your toddler is as ready as you are. Things will go more smoothly if you take it slow to make the transition more gentle on everyone. The key is to be consistent but flexible and encouraging but not forceful. Teach your child to sleep in his or her own bed step by step, and you will gradually meet success.

Start by talking. Talk to your spouse about your child beginning to sleep on his or her own at times when the child will hear. Talk directly to your toddler about it as well, or even to his or her favorite teddy bear. Ask what they think about it with questions like, “Won’t it be exciting for you to have a bed of your very own?”

Let them pick out their bed and bedding, as well as a few special pillows, and encourage them to help you set the bed up and put the bedding on. Show excitement about the new purchase. Isn’t it a pretty bed? What a cool pillow! Aren’t you excited about sleeping in your neat, new bed tonight?

Establish a routine well before you try the transition, and follow it the first night. In our house, we have a bath, brush our teeth, get into our pajamas and then get tucked in with a kiss goodnight. That’s all it takes! You may choose to have some quiet cuddle time in front of the TV or to read a story. What’s important here is a consistent routine and some last-minute togetherness before bed.

Make sure your child has everything they need. Cup of water? Check. Favorite teddy bear and blanket? Check, check. Dry diaper? Check. Are they hungry? Do they need a snack? Make sure they have enough blankets to be warm and the right lighting to fall asleep in.

Now, it’s time, but don’t leave! It’s just their first night in this new bed in their own room. Not only are they used to sleeping in your room and in your bed, they are used to sleeping with you. Lay down with your child until he or she falls asleep, at least for the first few nights and preferably the first few weeks. When they are sleeping, slip out quietly, and return if they wake and need you again.

Eventually, they’ll be ready to part with you at night. Be sure you check on them frequently until they fall asleep. If they ask that you lay down with them, do it, but only stay a few minutes.

Inevitably they will sometimes wake at night and want to come back into your bed. That is OK, especially in the beginning. It usually won’t last forever, and there’s little harm in letting them back in for a night. If it does become a habit, you’ll eventually have to put your foot down – softly. When they insist on sleeping in your bed, take them back to their own bed and lay them down. Stay for a while, or even until they fall asleep, and then return to your own bed, as in the beginning.

This is how we transitioned my son to his own bed. After our bedtime routine, I would kiss him goodnight, and then my husband would lay with him until he fell asleep. At first, that took several hours each night, and he needed his father to come in once or twice again throughout the night. Gradually, he began falling asleep more quickly and needed his father less often at night wakings. Within three months, we could tuck him in and leave, and he would fall asleep on his own. He still joins us in our own bed sometimes, but that’s fine with us!