How to Seat Your Wedding Guests

When it comes to the amount of fun your guests will have at your wedding ceremony, seat placement is the deal breaker. While you may think that your Aunt Gerty would like to sit next to the sister that she hasn’t seen in decades, think again. And you may believe that your mother would just love to be seated at a table with each and every one of her seven grandchildren, but you may want to think that one through one more time. It’s not appropriate to blatantly ask family members whom they wish to be seated with, and it can cause a few arguments at best, so what do you do?

First, look at who your guests spend the most time with, rather than those whom they have not “been able” to see in quite a while. Many brides and grooms feel like it is their duty to reunite family members who have not seen each other in years, and weddings certainly are family functions that can serve for reunion purposes. However, while traveling expenses can create a problem for long distance visits, it isn’t likely that if two people really had wanted to see each other that badly that both parties would have simultaneously gone an extended period of time without being able to do so. In other words, if they had really wanted to spend time with each other, they probably would have. They wouldn’t be depending on your wedding to do so. On top of that, long distances can create strangers out of people, so just seat your guests with those people that they already spend a great deal of time with. If they wish to visit about with long lost family members who are there, that’s their decision to make at mingling time.

Of course, there’s always the problem of seating extended family at weddings. If space is limited at your mother and stepfather’s table, do you seat just your biological siblings there and seat stepchildren elsewhere? Well, in this particular case, it would be suggested that you do not divide, but exclude all, if arrangements to include everyone absolutely cannot be made. In other words, seat your mother and stepfather either alone or with you at the head table. The point is, when seating step family with biological family, never create a sense of division. It will haunt you for the rest of your life. Group your family just as if the word “step” didn’t exist in any of their titles, and you were all related by blood. Seat siblings either all together or separately (with spouses). If you have two sets of parents, create two special areas, equally close to you, while keeping in mind that their tables may need to be separate to prevent any awkwardness. If you have one set of married parents and another single parent, seat them all at the head table with you (single parent on your side, married parents on your bride/groom’s side so that the single parent does not feel “alone”). Whatever you do, create equality among all members. Never create a biological divide.

Finally, when it comes to seating non-related guests and friends, simply try to group people with those whom you believe they will best relate too. However, this does not mean seating shy individuals with other shy people or outgoing people with others who are outgoing. In fact, that practice is discouraged, and similar personalities being grouped together usually tend to either clash or create a boring atmosphere. Instead, focus on seating people of similar age groups, backgrounds, lifestyles, and interests together. Also to take into consideration is education, income, personal views, and careers. People tend to make associations with others in similar life circumstances as themselves, so make it easier on your wedding guests by seating them with those whom they would naturally be able to talk to. A good rule of thumb is to never seat inferiors with superiors. A good example would be seating a nurse with a doctor. This would be like someone seating you with your boss. What great fun that would be. Age is your best predictor of who will befriend who, so it all else fails, seat people within about 15 years of each other’s age together for best conversational results. However, it you take this approach, make sure to mix up your tables. Whatever you do, don’t create and “old” side and a “young” side to your reception hall!

Finally, make sure that you are prepared for some bad attitudes when it comes to your “assigned seating.” Less elegant guests will desire the ability to choose their own seating partners, and they may or may not go by your layout. However, most will honor it and will appreciate that you took the time to make sure that each guest was comfortable. In other words, if you hear a complaint, let it go in one ear and right out the other. It’s your wedding, and whether or not you enjoy your company is the most important factor.