Child-led Weaning: Don’t Worry, You Won’t Have to Go with Him to College

Child-led weaning is one of the key points of the natural parenting movement. While the basics of child-led weaning are pretty self-explanatory, there are some common questions and misconceptions that parents may have.

What is child-led weaning

Child-led weaning is exactly what it sounds like: weaning on the child’s own timeline. This is different from mother-led weaning, in which the mother chooses an arbitrary time to stop breastfeeding and encourages the child to wean. Child-led weaning is the most natural and least traumatic method of weaning your baby from the breast.

How it happens

When a child is ready to stop nursing, he will stop. Child-led weaning is a gradual process; it will not happen overnight. A good rule of thumb when practicing child-led weaning is “don’t offer, don’t refuse.” If the child is not showing interest in breastfeeding, simply don’t offer the breast. In the same token, don’t refuse the breast or delay nursing if the child wants to nurse. True child-led weaning must occur on the child’s terms, not at the convenience of the mother.

When it happens

Child-led weaning can happen anywhere from age 2 to age 7. When a baby “self-weans” suddenly or before the age of 2, it is almost always a nursing strike. A nursing strike is not the same as weaning, and the child should be encouraged to resume breastfeeding if possible.

When practicing child-led weaning, it is important to keep in mind that your child will eventually stop nursing on his own. Many mothers worry that their child will not know when to stop nursing, and that he may want to continue nursing well into the school years. There is a common joke that asks, “Will you still be nursing him when he goes to college?” But keep in mind that the human body is designed to expect breastmilk for at least two years, and up to the age of 7. If the child is truly allowed to lead the way, he will stop nursing on his own, well before adolescence.

Benefits of child-led weaning

Child-led weaning is nature’s best method of weaning your child. Extended breastfeeding fosters a closeness between mother and child that is difficult to achieve by other means. The child learns to trust his instincts, and learns that his needs will be met in a timely manner.

Contrary to popular belief, child-led weaning may actually promote independence. The child learns to trust in his caregivers, which enables him to take risks. He knows that if something goes wrong, he has a “safety net” on which he can rely. Forcing a child to wean before he is ready can actually cause clinginess and insecurity.

Disadvantages of child-led weaning

The most obvious disadvantage of child-led weaning is that the mother will be breastfeeding for a longer period of time. For working mothers, this can sometimes be problematic.

Many mothers begin to feel resentful of their nursing children. They want their bodies back, and they grow tired of constantly being at the beck and call of a hungry baby. This is nothing to be ashamed of – it is perfectly normal. For the mother who has these feelings, child-led weaning may not work out. The child will sense the mother’s frustration, and will be negatively affected.

For more information on child-led weaning, talk to a lactation consultant, or refer to the links at the end of this article.

Reference:

• www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/how_weaning_happens.html