Wedding Etiquette for the Bride’s Parents

Events that are steeped in tradition tend to have built-in rules for etiquette for all who are involved. There is some very important wedding etiquette for the Bride’s parents that must be acknowledged, such as paying for the reception and flowers and so forth. These rules are not hard and fast, but were instead put in place through the process of hundreds of years of cultural evolution.

In the dominant cultures previous to ours the men were thought of as something of a special gift. If you had a daughter it was very important to you that she be set up with someone of great honor and respect for her married life. Due to this idea it was customary for a bride’s family to offer a dowry, or offering, to the man they wanted her to marry. In some cultures this offering was land or money, in others it was possibly cattle, horses or goats.

As time passed the tradition began to move away from providing an actual gift or offering to the man or his family. Instead, the cultural norm became the bride’s family financing the wedding ceremony and party thereafter to create a wonderful start to married life. The family of the bride became the punchline of many jokes due to this, but the tradition still seems to be prevalent in most dominant cultures.

Most of the rules of wedding etiquette for the bride’s parents have to do with what they will and will not be expected to pay for. The bride’s parents will be expected to pay for the reception costs, the wedding dress for the bride, the wedding cake, the wedding invitations, the floral arrangements and possibly even fees for the officiate and others. If it seems like a lot of responsibilities, it is, though tradition is changing in our efforts to become a more balanced society.

According to the 2005 “American Weddings” study conducted by The Fairchild Bridal Group, the cost of the average American wedding is almost $30,000. If this seems like an exorbitant amount to you and your financial situation it is imperative that you have a budget discussion with the bride and groom. It is perfectly acceptable to have discussions about what can and can not be paid for early in the wedding planning. Do not wait until you are a couple of months from saying “I do” to have these discussions.

The American Wedding has become a phenomenon of its own without any religious ties. If you are deeply entrenched in your religion there may be some rules of wedding etiquette that are not negotiable. If you are not deeply entrenched in your religion there is no part of wedding etiquette that is not negotiable. Be sure to be clear with the bride and groom what they can expect from you and what you expect from them.