Fortune cookie sayings often offer inspiration and wisdom. The following fortune cookie sayings offer none of that. In fact, they are just plain ridiculous.
1. You look a mess. Go jump in a vat of molasses. Now you’ll complete your makeover.
2. It’s time to tell your boss that he can take this job and shove it. Oops, you are the boss. Take the day off instead.
3. Watch out for falling donkeys. One may just land on your ass.
4. Just because you are constipated doesn’t mean you have to bottle up everything inside of you.
5. You don’t need seeds to implant your breasts.
6. If you get struck by lightning, cancel your charge accounts.
7. You know that your coffee is too strong if your hair follicles in your nose start doing somersaults.
8. Never toss an egg at a bully unless you like to have your head turned into scrambled eggs.
9. Barack Obama is not the name of a new break dance.
10. The government may soon require that you have an emissions test on your butt to limit the amount of gas emitting from your rear.
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