Pet Names for Couples – a Do or a Don’t

Pet names are something that all young couples (and even more mature couples) use – – especially when they are in the passionate phase of ‘young love’. While there is nothing wrong with the use of a pet name for your lover, spouse or significant other, the people around you who are forced to endure this special form of communication may raise an eyebrow, roll their eyes, sigh or become downright nauseous. Working in an office and with the public for a number of years, I have heard more than my fair share of pet names.

Foods are often used as pet names and many of us, including me, have referred to our loved one as honey, sugar, or pumpkin on more than one occasion (cupcake and lollipop are two I cannot stand though). However, referring to your wife as “my little pat of butter” may not be prudent (just ask my husband about that one). Likewise, calling your husband or boyfriend your “tub o’ lard” (which a client did in my office) may not get you roses on Valentine’s Day. I must admit, food is not one of my favorite things to use as a pet name because it sounds too mushy, too squishy or just too corny – – and extremely overdone (no pun intended there).

I do like romantic pet names as long as they are not taken directly from a bad romance novel. For example, ‘darling’ is great as long as it does not bring to mind that old country song “Hello Darlin.” ‘My beloved’ is just a little too over the top for my tastes. One gentleman referred to his wife as ‘precious’ which I thought was cute, but after hearing him call her that several times I was feeling sick. On the flip side of that, an attorney I worked for referred to his wife as ‘the one who must be obeyed’ (and believe me he did).

The nice thing about pet names is that they often give you some insight into a couple’s relationship. For instance, ‘hey you’ and ‘the old battleaxe’ tell you immediately that you are looking at a couple that have had the neighbors call the cops on them before for domestic disturbances. However, you must be careful with some pet names because they can have dual meanings depending on the context. ‘Dear’ is often used to express love but when used in the right context and tone of voice, ‘dear’ as a pet name just became a way to verbally poke your mate. I giggled at a client when she called her husband ‘killer’ because I thought she meant that he was a ladies’ man – – I was so wrong because he was actually an exterminator.

A word to the wise – – choose your pet names carefully because once you begin using one, it often sticks for life. Calling your girlfriend ‘sweet cheeks’ may sound okay now, but just imagine how it would sound if your grandfather referred to your grandmother as ‘hot lips’.