Medieval Times at the Arundel Mills Mall in Annapolis, Maryland

I was home for the holidays to spend it with my family. On the last night before I flew back, we decided to head out to Medieval Times at the Arundel Mills mall for dinner. I myself had never been there but I heard it was enjoyable. All I knew about it was what I saw inThe Cable Guy, that is they preserve medieval authenticity by using metal plates and cups, no silverware, and by serving Pepsi. This is all true. The staff is more enthusastic about their roles then Janeane Garofalo’s character and they don’t actually call people from the audience to duel, but aside from this the movie pretty much gets the atmosphere right.

It’s a good old fashioned dinner with a show. When you walk in you’re given a knight to side with. They encourage you to root for your knight and his allies while booing the opposing side. Even the knights work the crowd, riding around on their horse and throwing flowers to girls in the crowd. The games mostly center around accuracy, that is until the actual jousting. The big reveal of the “villain” isn’t that big a shock but that’s not the point. It’s fun to watch if for no other reason then to see how much the cast revels their respective parts. The villain goes to great lengths to come off as one and the king was clearly getting a kick out of his role.

The games are fun but it doesn’t get really good until the jousting starts. I was worried that it was a misconception, dinner had been served and it seemed as if things were winding down. It was somewhat understandable as the risk for injury is quite great. They do in fact joust and duel with real weapons. I can’t attest to their sharpness but sparks flew when swords clashed; not only that but the actors were always sure to strike their opponent with the flat side of the sword so I assume that they were at least sharp enough to cause injury. The choreography is hit or miss. At parts it’s breathtaking and you actually believe that they are fighting in an intense battle, at other parts it’s obviously staged and the actors overdo their reactions. All in all though, it’s entertaining, which is what they strive to do above all else.

Medieval Times is unusual in that there is no menu. The meal is picked out for you. It starts out with a bowl of vegetable soup. I’m not a big soup eater so I didn’t do much with that. You have to drink it as, again, there is no spoon to eat it with. My family said that it was quite hot, so much so that it was hard to hold the bowl. Up next is garlic bread. What’s there to be said, it’s garlic bread and like all garlic bread, it’s delicious even if it is only a small piece. The main course is a big chunk of chicken with a side of spare rib. Vegetarians need not worry as they do have an alternative meal available The chicken is quite tasty and filling. The rib is good, however it is only a small piece. For dessert you get a pastry, in our case it was an apple fritter-esque treat, not bad at all.

Medieval Times is an enjoyable experience. I’m not sure if it works for multiple visits but it is worth checking out at least once. If the fights and tournament aren’t your thing there are the cute (and very well trained) horses to look at. Even if your knight does lose, as Leroy Jenkins would be quick to point out, at least you got chicken.

The only flaw is that several times throughout they encourage you to buy peripheral products, pictures, items from the gift shop, you can be “knighted” by the king. The drinks from the bar are also a bit pricey.

Aside from that it is a grand time to be had by the whole family. I highly recommend it.